Today I realized I’m mentally ill

Today for some reason it dawned on me that I have a severe mental illness!

I went with my father to the UPS store and I fumbled through my words with the clerk there.

Later I headed towards a Starbucks next door while my father was getting a haircut at the barbers nearby.

On my way to Starbucks I took my wallet out of my pocket and my credit cards and cash fell all over the place on the ground.

I was having a hard time picking up the cards and cash.

Later at Starbucks I felt confused and had a hard time communicating to the cashier that I wanted an iced coffee.

Yeah today was one of those days.

I’m fukking crazy, and trying to survive.

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Once I dropped my 2pm risperidone bottle on the floor between many people in Costco. It was embarrassing.

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I feel for you, @Wave. I know what it’s like.

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I have days like this, and have the same dawning realization.

Then the next day I’m convinced I’m not ill at all.

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It’s strange I’ve been getting delusional a lot this year but never went full blown for more than one day in a row. Idk maybe it’s cos of the medication.

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That’s awesome bro…self knowledge is power

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That could just as well be the AP’s that have grinded you down as the disease itself. I recommend taking some nootropics to counter the effect of the meds.

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Yes I was thinking that it could be the meds too but I was worse off mentally as well when I was on a low dose of my AP as well.

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@Mr_Hope come to think of it, it could be the meds.
On a low dose of meds I was sharper mentally.

But my moods were not as stable.

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Sorry that happened @Wave. I’m always painfully aware that I’m mentally ill. I always think I’m hiding something from most people. Very few people know I have schizophrenia.

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Most of my days are just coping with the disease now. I get some respite around 9pm and things are easier after that, so I stay up later than I should. But yeah, surviving is the name of the game. I wish it wasn’t so difficult.

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It doesen’t hurt to take a nootropic or two. Quite a few people here take Lions Mane with positive result. That’s one I take myself. It’s a good place to start. One of its features is that it repairs and regrows damadged neurons and eliminates brain fog. I know @shutterbug takes it. And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a few other members make posts about it.

I have positive experience with it. It’s considered safe if you stick to the perscription. Just make sure to buy it from a reputable dealer, like swanson or vitacost.

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I get that almost every time I talk with people too much. I try to keep my words to a minimum, but sometimes I say too much and the look on peoples faces tells me I need to stop talking. Sometimes I think I’m being friendly, but I’m not sure what’s coming out of my mouth because the reaction I get (way too often) shows me that I’ve said something socially unacceptable, I guess.
When I’m feeling strong and don’t care what anyone thinks, I just let myself say things that I think are funny. People are too uptight and that’s the truth.
@Wave , you were probably fine but fell outside of the small minds you were talking to… mental illness aside. :heart:

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I’m hesitant because many different supplements can make me manic @Mr_Hope

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I understand. But I guess that is part of what we have to do. Take some risks sometimes. But if you only introduce one supplement at a time you can at least know if it is that which is causing it and if so stop it. Most supplements I have bought has agreed with me, like 95%. And then there’s a few that I’ve been downright allergic too or that have given me negative effects.

I think mania would be mostly caused by supplements that work on dopamine and serotonin somehow. I can’t remember reading any time that lions mane affect these. But quite a few supplements do, so that might explain it.

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I can’t risk it @Mr_Hope
But thanks

I don’t want to get involuntarily committed again

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And if epiphany’s terror reduced you to shame
Have your head bobbed and weaved
Choose a side to be on…

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What do you mean zoa?
I don’t understand?

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Well, it’s lyrics, sorry I messed up…
Black angel dead song, Velvet Underground…
You had epiphany…
And were reduced to shame

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Ok thanks zoa :slightly_smiling_face:

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