well they move across the country or even to a different country and then they show up once a year to visit for 2 or 3 days. am i unreasonable that i have stopped caring about them? sure i still love them a little, but i feel abandoned. i got that way to protect myself. now i just don’t worry about it. i let mom and dad do the talking when family comes in for a visit, i don’t waste any of my energy on them anymore. i just exchange pleasantries and listen to the elders talk. like it’s just an eventful day, something different than the normal routine, so i guess that is the best part.
i do wonder if i’ll ever see my brother and sister’s once mom and dad are gone. of course then it will be my time to be selfish and go live my life for once and move where i want to live.
well i reflected on it, i think it’s a little bit both that i resent them for taking off, and that im also jealous they have there own life. if i had my own place i’d be happy to have my brother or sister’s over for a visit. i just need to get my own life too.
and when i went over to mom and dad’s this morning for coffee. dad said he talked to my brother last night on the phone. and he wanted dad to tell me that he said “hi” and that he loved me.
i was like great. isn’t that just our relationship. well wishing from a thousand miles away.