This is what it means to be non-binary

You’re thinking of gender in very concrete literal terms. Gender is a construct, it’s not fixed and is absolutely influenced by normative historical influences. To me gender is about how you relate to your body and inner self. Doesn’t it then follow that everybody’s gender identity becomes unique? Sure we can be somewhat satisfied with umbrellac terms, man, woman, nonbinary, genderfluid, demiboy/girl, etc… but they’re just umbrella terms capturing a wide range of unique identities

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So then there’s no need to follow every single gender label. I surely don’t know many myself. The important part is name and pronouns.

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For things like a driver’s license it asks if male/female. Is that gender or sexuality? You said it’s a construct, how is that so?

Also, demiboy/girl? What do those terms mean? Never heard of either before.

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The male/female binary is a lie too so don’t even get me started on gender markers. Demiboy is someone assigned male at birth but doesn’t strictly identify as a man. Demigirl is same but for assignment female at birth.

It’s It’s construct because it’s not very tangible, you can’t point to it in space and say “this is gender”. I mean it’s literally made up by man, it’s just a framework we use to assert our identity. Gender is not your sex organs or your chromosomes, it is how you feel and relate to yourself. It’s socially reinforced to the point of toxicity. So a construct

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Would you support eradicating “gender” questions, i.e., the driver’s license example I gave? Just toss male and female away and deal with the issue on an individual level?

Not necessarily, I haven’t thought much about that though. I just find it strange that we force people into either male or female when intersex people exists and are far more common than people believe.

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Thank you for the education, and patience. I guess there are still major issues in society preventing this model’s widespread adoption.

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It’s so nice to hear a really open minded discussion about trans/non-binary community. <3

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As a person from an older generation than most here it’s actually quite anxiety provoking. The fluidity and indeterminate nature of it makes it feel as though one is going through a minefield , with the placing of those mines changing very randomly. You do your best not to step on one, but the odds are that you will do. The vehement reaction that can then come from some makes going into avoidant/social withdrawal mode,for ones own health and well-being a viable option.

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I understand that feeling to an extent but really all trans and nonbinary people want you to do is respect the name and pronouns they tell you to use. If you don’t know I’d much rather have someone ask me then assume because that assumption is usually wrong (people assume I go by they a lot since I’m nonbinary but I dont).

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I can totally appreciate that @firemonkey . I don’t see it as an age issue, as you might, but I’m trying to get a hand around the situation because I think this is not just a flash in the pan movement. I’ve seen some really gnarly reactions too, and am likewise afraid of stepping on one of your “landmines.” For sure. But I also don’t want to appear as a butthole to the world if I misgender someone. I don’t think the punishment of death by flame is warranted.

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I’ve heard the demi boy/girl didn’t necessarily have to have those genders assigned at birth.
Maybe I heard it wrong

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I think Im agendered, i don’t really feel like a man nor like a woman

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I’m not sure! I haven’t looked much into it tbh

I know I’m a woman and I’ve always felt like a woman who was sexually and emotionally attracted to both women and men. But I’ve always known that I liked to dress up as a man or a bull ■■■■. And I really dug it when people would confuse me for a man. Most of the time, I dress androgynously or in a feminine style.

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Guys, I’ve been thinking about this and I think I’ve been too harsh on the idea. Please forgive me if I offended anyone with my earlier post, I think everybody deserves the right to self-identify in whatever way makes them most comfortable.

There’s enough discrimination in the world without me adding to it, and I just think everybody deserves to be happy and to be loved. I am just sad by how critical some people can be, but I think that the world is changing for the better and those who are critical about it will be left behind on the wrong side of history.

I personally find it easy to identify with what I was born as. It just makes things easy and simple. Even if I express more feminine one day than the next, to me that doesn’t alter my gender. But I’m only one person and if another person feels differently, that’s their business. I definitely believe people can be born with a gender identity that doesn’t match their birth sex, because I’ve seen it. So it’s not too much of a leap to say someone could identify with both.

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Absolutely. Thank you for your introspection. That says a lot about your character more than anything you.may have said before.

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I’m realizing I’m gay but I also crossdress! I do not agree with giving hormones to children though tbh I’m not down with that. But if your 18 do what ya want it’s great!!!

Early hormones can make someone incredibly passable in adulthood, which is the primary wish of pretty much every transgendered person.

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Let doctors and medical science do their job deciding what is right for the well being of transgender people. I knew I was gay at 5… The same is true for Transgender people, many know when they are kids. Adults don’t understand kids can know what they are.

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