Thinking of going back on meds...

Hi, everyone. My pdoc diagnosed me with Schizoaffective disorder. I may have thought broadcasting delusion and some delusions of reference. I don’t think people can read my exact thoughts - but more like if I’m thinking about them/scared of them, they can ‘feel’ and sense that. Also, if I have negative, positive, sexual, etc. thoughts/feelings about them - they may sense that too. I’m not sure if this is delusional, since I feel they react to these thoughts/feelings sometimes. I do feel mentally ‘naked’ most of the time. Does any of this sound familiar/delusional?

What I’m also wondering is - do antipsychotics work only by emotionally blunting a person, or is that just in the beginning, and sometimes? Also, how long may it take for APs to start working?

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Hi for me it’s more like sometimes, the emotional blunting… Taking your meds again sounds like a good thing especially if you have delusions, suspicion etc

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Hello. I am schizoaffective bipolar type and i often feel like people can hear what i am thinking. It is very troubling and stressful when this happens. I am taking Latuda, Lamictal and sertraline and they help some. I think going back on meds would be a good choice for you.

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So the meds don’t really take away this symptom for you? I was taking Risperdal 1mg for a month, and I was feeling more flat/depressed, but the symptoms/thoughts were still there.

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They make it much more manageable. It doesn’t go completely away, it still pops up from time to time. But i would definitely prefer staying on the meds. It’s way better when i’m on them.

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Thanks for letting me know. Does the flatness/emotional blunting eventually go away? The only time I felt Risperdal worked was after I took it for 5 days, became a zombie for a week, then had one day of ‘normalcy’ - felt like I awoke from a weird dream I was living in months prior. But I stopped taking the med after I felt like a zombie, and that same night that I felt ‘normal’ I may have relapsed - everything became bright to my vision again, and I felt hyper-connected/dissociated again or something. After, the meds didn’t help, although perhaps I need to give them more time…no idea.

wondering

it sounds like if meds aren’t effective, then you don’t need them.

you don’t sound like you have schizophrenia.

I was diagnosed with having Schizoaffective disorder, and when I was in a hospital in Israel, the pdoc there diagnosed me with a psychotic disorder - not necessarily Schizophrenia.

So you think I should give up on meds? I never took any med for much longer than a month - perhaps I need to give it more time? When I’m around people I feel mentally exposed, like they could see right through me or something - like people around me can get ‘stuck’ in my mind, and I sometimes look at them to see if they knew I was thinking about them, etc. Maybe this isn’t psychotic, maybe I’m just sensitive or something?

I also feel sometimes like I’m the center of attention - like if I go on the bus or train or even in public, like maybe people are looking at me, etc. and I feel vulnerable…maybe this is normal? I don’t know…

well, hell yeah, take meds again

I don’t think all the thoughts will go away

about people in your vicinity. It just helps hallucinations, delusions, and rising to the occasion of paranoia.

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Thanks. I’m wondering whether some of the thoughts I have are delusional/paranoid/psychotic or normal…

I was also kinda wondering if this is social anxiety your’e getting

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No idea…but I find i hard to be around family, too - even if I’m in the other room, the family member that’s in the other room can get ‘stuck’ inside my head and I feel like I have to think a certain way, and if I have negative thoughts about them - they would feel it, so like I have to work on/control my thinking or something, if that makes sense. Maybe that’s normal? It doesn’t help that I don’t have much to focus on atm as I’m not very busy throughout the day and not currently working, etc.

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eye movement can do it

once I gleaned down at a black guy’s thick lips

he considered me racist

note to the wise, only look in the eyes.

No, I mean, even if I’m in the other room - and a person is in the house, in another room - they get ‘stuck’ inside my mind, if that makes sense. Almost like I have to control my thinking to try and not think negative of them/get irritable by their presence or something, lest they feel/sense that. Like I have to hide my thoughts or think positive, even if they’re not next to me. I also have trouble trusting my thoughts sometimes.

I’m not a doctor. A doctor could answer you more accurately. But here are my thoughts.

It is not normal. It is maybe delusional. It is maybe paranoid. It is probably the beginning of psychosis.

I recommended finding a med that can help with this before it gets worse. I suffered and struggled in the same way as you before my worst psychotic break.

I take meds and I still have “breakthroughs” but I am much, much worse off the meds. I’ve tried several. Some helped better with symptoms than what I’m on now, but I could not endure the side effects.

Please keep working with your doctor. It would be in your best interest to avoid worsening symptoms.

I’m schizoaffective also, bipolar type.

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I can sense your’e not comfortable

meds are best long term

maybe some of your thoughts would settle

you gotta remember body language, or isolation

Thanks for your encouragement. I will try and continue working with my doctor and do as she says, G-d willing.

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Thank you. G-d willing it’ll get easier - maybe I just need to try and keep more busy, try to become independent, work, try and build self-confidence…but perhaps I should take meds for now - I will give them a try again and work with my doctor, G-d willing.

I would get on meds and ask for a different med from before, or maybe a different dosage. I do think you should get back on them and give them more time.

Thanks. The thing is, I’ve tried almost all the APs out there, even in larger doses - but I never really took one for much more than a month or so. My pdoc was thinking of adding a 2nd AP to my Risperdal that I was taking for a month, but I’ve stopped. G-d willing I will start again tonight…she told me to take 1mg for a month and then see her - although I did that last time and I think it made me feel more flat/suicidal sometimes…though perhaps it was helping a bit with the thoughts, not too much though.