Don’t worry. I went through this too. For a while when I was younger I thought I might be a psychopath because I couldn’t feel anything. I also suicidal, and although that might seem like a feeling it was more like a numbness. I have some Ausburgers indicators (not full blown though) so that might have something to do with what I’m about to say but when I was younger I didn’t want my Mom to hug or cuddle on me. Now I see her cuddling with her little dog and I wish I had that.
I used to think that I was evil myself, that there was nothing good about me at all so I tried to make up for it by being super nice to everyone to combat that part of me. In reality though I had good reason to be mad and upset at many people. I was bullied at home and at school. I had the right to be mad but I was so afraid that would make me a bad person that I didn’t let myself do that. I ended up repressing everything and it’s just coming out now. It isn’t pretty. Not pretty at all.
The fact that you are trying to fight against a percived evil shows there is good in you. If you didn’t have good in you you wouldn’t be fighting those tendencies, you’d be going with them. Keeping a journal might help you.