The most successful people never use these 5 toxic phrases when talking to themselves, says psychologist at Yale

Health and Recovery
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Did we really need Yale to study this?

Haha!

Of course talking down about yourself isn’t healthy.

I know they had specific phrases, but they all really mean the same thing.

And the article is like “replace” these thoughts with positive ones.

Seriously?

Yeah, I’ll work on that right away.

Changing my THOUGHTS.

You can not allow yourself to dwell on or focus into the negative,

But you can’t “replace” thoughts or control them.

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I’m sorry but that’s plain false.
You can change your thoughts.
You just admitted that you suck at it. I’m sorry for being rude but you just discredited my life experience with this false belief.

I’ve uprooted my inner monologue entirely, so hearing nonsense like you can’t change your thoughts truly irks me.

It’s like somebody saying you can’t lose weight. It’s hard, killing my inner monologue was by far the hardest thing I have ever done and I’ve just lost 60 lbs(the two aren’t even close in the amount of discipline and self-sacrifice needed and people consider losing weight hard on that front but you can do it, the thing is that you need to build a technique to do it and then use it extensively every waking second for months and it’s not pleasant, it’s obsessive, at least that’s how I did it.)

Just because you haven’t done something doesn’t mean you can’t do it, you just lack the introspection needed to know how to achieve that goal and, chances are, even if you did know how you wouldn’t be willing to follow through because it’s like drowning yourself a little bit every moment for months. Changing a thought requires constant vigilance 24/7 but it’s not something that takes forever, it’s perfectly achievable if you want it hard enough. Plus once you do the first, most of the work is already going to be done, which is why after dealing with my thoughts on death I was like what the hell and went ahead and scrapped the whole inner monologue.

The goal is to first identify the thought before it starts, and you need a plan to learn how to do that. Then you need a way to stop yourself from thinking it, and you need another plan to learn how to do that. Once you’ve got the tools for both you need to use the first 24/7 to notice when it’s about to pop up and be always ready with the second to stop it. Eventually impeding yourself from formulating that thought changes your internal pathways to consider that one a closed road and the thought is gone. You can now start planting the seed for a new thought to take its place, et voilà the thought is changed. You don’t want to replace your thoughts, you want a button to do it.

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Who are you?

You don’t know ■■■■ about me and you want to write three paragraphs about how I’m not strong enough to make changes?

Check yourself.

I’m doing very ■■■■■■■ well.

We’re all allowed to have different opinions around here.

Attacking someone’s character because of an opposing view is super inappropriate.

You could have said all those things without being pointed and mean.

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You attacked me First, the fact that you didn’t know it doesn’t change the facts. You called something I am very proud of impossible. I didn’t say you are weak. I said you are wrong. It’s not impossible, you’ve just never done it. Since it’s something internal I have no way already to get people to believe I did what I did and hearing people call it impossible makes it way harder. So check your own self and stop making claims about what is possible based on what you think you can and can’t do. Something being impossible isn’t an opinion, it’s a statement and if somebody does it he has every right to call out what you said as a lie, in fact they have a duty to do so because you are spreading limiting beliefs with no basis in reality.

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Okay.

Think what you want.

I think what I want.

I never personally attacked you and you’re being a complete ass.

You’re new and I have no idea who you are,

So I’m going to leave this.

But watch your tone.

It’s not cool.

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I’m not new, first of all.
Second of all, I do think what I want, you are the One who said they can’t think what they want and now you want to do it? I thought it was impossible for you to think anything but what you think.

I am well aware that I’m the one out of line here by social standards but you are the only one making false claims here and calling them opinions, when clearly a statement on the impossibility of something isn’t an opinion but at the very least a belief which is either true or false, with no wiggle room.

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Yes, I am hiding your comments from my feed so you won’t need to worry about me ever replying to you in the future. You can stay with your “opinions” and I won’t be the one to fact check them.

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I know I’m good enough as a human being but I don’t feeeeeel good enough for some people. So I tell myself I’m good enough. It’s one of my main mottos. But I need to love myself more, to eventually feel that I’m good enough for some others.

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I like what they say about comparison. Basically if I’m not as beautiful as someone, I should just accept it instead of being in denial about that. And then, instead focus on what my strengths are. It’s not a bad article.

And anyway just cos I’m not as beautiful as some1 else, doesn’t mean I’m not beautiful at all.

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Yea this has been my experience too. I think you can change thoughts patterns over time but to fight with your thoughts I. Real time hasn’t worked for me. I also have OCD so maybe that’s why but resisting thoughts has only strengthened them…in my personal experience

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I’m a strong believer in maintaining a growth mindset. And, yes, a person can change their thinking. I have done this, but it is slow going and it is so very hard. Hat tip to AA’s 12 Steps for getting me over the hump.

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Yes I think this is a big truth. It doesn’t happen in a few days or weeks even. For me anyway.

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