The mind set that helps me

So I have met a fellow high-functioning paranoid schizophrenic through a classmate at school. We are now good friends. He take 160mg Geodon, I take 120mg, we are both 90% symptom-free and 99% functionally recovered.

We’ve talked for hours multiple times. We both conclude that it is all about having the right mind set, a military mind set in fact. He was raised with the rules that you never give up, that suicide is for pussies, ect.

When I was 10 years old I hit puberty (quite early) and made up my mind that I wanted to be a military officer. By 14 I said I was going to be a Navy SEAL. I worked out every day and make good grades. My father supported me whole with all of his heart. My grandfather, who my father and I are named after, was a lieutenant in the Army and a surgeon. I went to see a surgeon because I thought I had a hernia last summer, the he said “Maurice [middle name] [last name] IV? I was trained by someone with the name name but he was Maurice Jr.” “yeah thats my grandfather”. “he was a good man, he was outstanding at what he did and a gentleman” “thanks, I hear that a lot”. Then he inspected my entire lower body and I heard him making fun of the size of my ■■■■■. I was not on a high enough dose of Geodon at the time.

I saw an evaluator and a therapist when I was unmedicated and psychotic. The evaluator said that I had the psyche of a combat veteran. My therapist worked in the Army Intelligence when he was younger and said that I had the psyche of an elite solider, and that my scores were exactly like an elite soldiers, save for being very schizophrenic. I told him about how I behaved before my onset, and he said “you would have made it, and been an officer in no time.” I used to run for 45 minutes every day, no matter what the weather was, lifted weights for an hour, and went to Krav Maga training for at least an hour every week day. I took cold showers even in the winter to condition myself to cold water, which is supposedly the hardest part of SEALs training. I then studied for three hours every night and had a 3.9 at a prestigious international school before my onset. At that school, only honors courses were offered except for hard sciences, I took regular chemistry and the rest honors or AP.

Then when it crept up on me, I started smoking pot and cigarettes and drinking whenever I could. It was absurd. I behaved increasingly more strangely and experienced more symptoms gradually. I had epididymitus from getting dehyrated while partying one weekend and couldnt workout for months. I simultaneously became more insane and smoked more pot, which made me enjoy masturbation more and worked as a painkiller but also made me more symptomatic. I was chain smoking after school. I ended up buying an electric cigarette and vaporizing in the bathrooms in between classes. My advisor mistook me to have major depression, so did my psychiatrist. I made a C in honors physics that year and the rest A’s and B’s. My girlfriend ditched me because I wouldnt make physical contact with her.

So I was insane. Right before graduation, I entered the active phase and was 100% nuts. My friends and family knew something was very very wrong. I made a 3.9 my first semester of college but was absolutely paranoid, symptomatic and asocial. I had episodes and one time was committed to a crisis assessment center for the night because I was belligerently drunk.

I was evaluated in February and it hurt. I was given a morbid prognosis but he told me “if you overcome this, you will make an incredible shrink.” Otherwise I would be dead by suicide around the age of 40. That was what I was given.

So I really appreciate when you people flag my posts about crapping my pants because I train so hard (which is a positive thing) and get my posts saying variations of “■■■■ schizophrenia” deleted.

You should all become med compliant, deal with the side effects and live by “■■■■ schizophrenia” because it will ■■■■ you if you dont.

I am recovered, highly functioning, probably the highest functioning regular poster on this site. Not many people seem to be able to stomach me, but some of you get it, that I see schizophrenia as a threat to my life and show it no mercy. If I dont kill schizophrenia with medications, insight and a life full of achievements, it will kill me.

My new friend who is functioning like I do only thinks the same way. He recognizes this condition as a challenge, not a reason to quit anything. We had a long talk last night and we both concluded that we are glad it happened, it gives us incredible motivation and satisfaction, to be told we would be dead and to be alive and well.

I have a military mindset, it runs in my family. I give all or nothing. I ■■■■ my pants training or I dont show up. I make an A in a class or I dont go.

It ■■■■■■■ works. Im not saying this to the other fighters on here, you all know who you are, but I just hate to see people who have my condition and let it beat them. Schizophrenia is a death sentence. It has no right to take my life. What does the US do to people who attack them? Destroy them, that is in the soldier’s creed. So I destroy schizophrenia for attacking me.

I wish you all the best, but unless you take steps which are PROVEN to work, that is take medications religiously, learn about the condition, and find the right life for you, whether it is a straight A student and competitive athlete or working part time, just do it.

My life was hell. It is not anymore. I just hate to see so many people have their lives ruined by this and want to share my strategy for beating schizophrenia to death.

What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger :skull:

where iss the message?

Nice. only i’m not too week to “stomach” you if i don’t like you. you’re ok in my book from the little time I’ve been here. don’t like the whole alpha male thing. yeah I’ve worked with and under old boys like that, not impressed. good to see you have a passion.

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