Was I an outlier in my failure to solve the employment dilemma I ask myself ?. Not strong enough to cope with the pressure and stress of work using my best abilities, and nowhere near able enough to do jobs requiring manual and practical skills. I do experience a lot of self stigma over it. Luckily, while useless at many practical things, I am OK at money management. I’m not living in the lap of luxury, but I’m also not drowning in debt. I have savings >£6k <£10k.
I came from a background that if not part of the 1% was more privileged than most. I have had nowhere near that lifestyle as an independent adult. At it’s worst it’s involved living in a tent(short period of time in the summer), a room I couldn’t stand to my full height in, and a 9x6, rather ramshackle, caravan.
I would address the self stigma, I’m unsure of your age but not everyone has to be seen as part of the capitalist machine to have self worth. If you’re around my father’s age then it’s retirement time and it’s time better spent not fretting.
I’m not going to say get therapy, best course of action when I feel self stigma is to find an answer that reflects reality - a few years ago I was working whilst in no position healthwise to be working and the results was financial catastrophe which I’m still paying back for.
If I remember right, you’ve accomplished having a family regardless of working or not. If that was me, I’d stick a finger at the self stigma and give what I can to my loved ones in terms of wisdom and whatever else I may offer.
Much of it is tied in with the chronic effects of bullying related trauma. I am far more self critical of myself re the employment issue than of others who are,or have been, in a similar position.
So you blame yourself for being bullied? I’d tell myself it had nothing to do with me. Externalise it. Say those people were ■■■■■ and step away from the thoughts. When the feeling arise of something distasteful from my past - I just release it (the energy)