The Blood Curse

My sister turned 70yo on 3/30. We haven’t spoken in almost a year. She and her branch of my family are stubbornly redneck and racist and just resistant to learning about anything human and good. I dunno. It stems from my illness and the illness our mom must’ve had. I wish like hell that we could get along, but schizo to a family is like autism to a married couple: it causes division. It seems to me that no matter what position I take on life and living, my sister will take the polar opposite stance. If I’m a liberal, then she’ll be conservative to the death. If I am chocolate, then she’s vanilla, etc. Coke or Pepsi. It is ■■■■■■■ stupid. And there’s not a goddam thing I can do to save the situation. I will always have this illness, and they will always resent it and call me a “leech on the system” ---- whether I’m working or not!!! I just can’t win, and who the ■■■■ can blame me for wanting to keep my healthcare benefits? I can hear them now: Rob is “selfish” for taking them. Ugh. But here I am singing to the choir, which is all of us here. Que tengan Uds. un buen dia. Roberto

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Sorry for being so negative, guys. Maybe I need an antidepressant.

yeah, my own dad unfriended me on Facebook,

all over politics and Obamacare. stupidity.

You paid in, right? I always tell everyone that. I’m taking early retirement.

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I went back to work and stayed employed long enough to qualify for Social Security Disability, the amount of which is based on what I put in.

So yes, I can say I paid in, tho not a lot. It may sound like rationalization, but oh well. I’m 51yo. If and when I work again, I want to do something I like, and from home and not in an office or other site.

Thanks for replying. Guilt sucks, doesn’t it? Sorry to hear about your dad. Time may heal the wound. You never know.

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It is really hard to qualify for disability. If you have it, the government has obviously thoroughly evaluated your situation and decided you need what you have. But you’ll never change some people’s minds about it. Some folks think it’s a moral failing to be sick. I think that stems from their own fears. They don’t like the idea that they could one day become sick and need to collect disability, so they tell themselves that if they make good decisions, they will never get too sick to work. Then, this thought process leads them to believe that anyone who is collecting disability obviously made bad decisions.

But the truth is, anyone can get sick at any time. It’s mostly a matter of genetics and bad luck. The truth scares them, so they cling to their false beliefs.

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@Daze is right. You paid into the sh!t. So did I. My old “friends” couldn’t get that. Please just enjoy your life. Crappy people are at every corner which is out of your control. Maybe focus on the things you can control. :slight_smile:

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My mom only accepts me when I am doing well. Before I found the right meds, she continually called me lazy and selfish because I couldn’t do much. Now, she says she is so proud of me and she supports me, but I know that support will all go away if I become sick again.

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Thanks a lot, you guys. And “lazy” and “selfish” are exactly the insults I get from my family. Amazing.

And yes, I will refocus on enjoying my life without guilt. I don’t drink now. Sober date 9/12/17. I am told that’s huge. So I will indulge myself.

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Well done on the sobriety. Keep it up.

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Congrats on the sobriety! Keep it up! What do you do to indulge yourself now that you’re sober? I will bake myself a delicious treat or buy a cool new board game.

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Right now, it’ll be a thing of ice cream; I think Oreo pieces in cream sounds good. Thanks for praise. Seems like with more therapy I find I have more problems on one hand. But on the other, I think I must be getting stronger with all I have to face. That’s the way it is with Saturn for a ruling planet (if you buy astrology). You get tested time after time, and hopefully come out stronger with each test. I have a weakness for astrology at times, but it helps me to have something to believe in. Take care.

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What doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger. And you’re not dead so you must be coming out of this stronger.

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