Telling people.... what was the best/worst?

When I tell people there are a scope of reactions.

The best… My boss actually said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t actually know what that means. But if your patient with me, I’ll be patient with you. If something is going on, explain it to me? Are we cool with this?”

The worst, I told a girl straight up I was SZ, she didn’t believe me at all until one stressful night, I had a bit of a break and then she realized I was telling the truth all that time. She ran away. That night ended it. But my other friends have stayed and some have even returned.

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I have not told many people outside of family/step family/other mentally ill. In fact i have had little interaction with others besides those. Can’t relate any really bad but the best was a cabbie.I don’t know why i told him as they are often quite right wing. However it turned out he was very understanding. His daughter had just been admitted to hospital with psychosis.

i dont tell anyone. never had a good reaction.

My best experience in telling someone about my illness happened just a few weeks after I was diagnosed. My partner’s friend invited us out to lunch.

He and I had never been particularly close, as he was mostly a friend of my partner.

But I knew that I was going to have to start telling people in our social circle before too long. I’d missed several social events and was being withdrawn. People were starting to speculate.

So I decided to tell this friend at lunch. He was surprisingly calm and cool about it. He asked lots of questions about the illness, and my partner and I answered them all, until he finally understood the reality of the situation. He said he wanted to be there to support me.

And to my surprise, he WAS. He really stepped up. He started calling to check up on me. Coming by on the weekends for coffee and conversation, helping me with my errands and transportation.

Now, he’s become one of my best friends. I couldn’t imagine life without him.

And to think, I actually doubted he could handle it at first. Shows you that people can surprise you with love and kindness :slight_smile:

Blessings,

Anthony

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you all seem pretty lcuky

I was embarrassed when I admitted it to my wife, disappointed when I told my friend and he didn’t believe it, and heartbroken when I told my mother and she acted like it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing good happened. I regret ever trying to be open about it.

my mother calls me crazy

i met an old school friend in a bar and we shot some pool, his little brother was there and someone told him about my illness so after pool we sat down for a drink and his brother said i need to tell you something or other (could guess what it was about) anyway he was a bit weird after that and it didn’t go very well, i don’t think he knew how to take it, think he found it amusing tbh, anyway i haven’t seen anyone else from my past since then really, its a bit sad.

That sucks daydreamer and fear, sad stuff.

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I had a few good experiences with telling friends. But it definitely hasn’t been all roses and sunshine.

I’ve been trying to make new friends for the last 2 years (since I’ve been single), and I’ve met over 20 people. We start to talk, hang out over lunch or coffee, start getting closer. Everything is good.

Until I have a flare up in symptoms. And they will usually ask what’s going on with me, and why I seem so distant and quiet. Then I have to tell them. I’m not going to lie about it.

With all the 20+ people I’ve met, it’s the same thing. At first, they say they’re ok with it. But then later, they stop answering my calls or stop returning my texts. A few people have actually made some crazy excuses to not be my friend anymore. Like, “Im going through a stage in my life where I need to be alone.” And then I see them online meeting other people.

It’s definitely hurtful. And it makes it very difficult for me to make new friends. But I keep trying. And I try to take a lesson from those bad experiences.

I just try to focus on the GOOD times–however few those might be. It makes the quest for love and acceptance more positive and hopeful.

I hope you guys never give up hope, no matter how bad your experiences might be.

Blessings,

Anthony

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I talked to one of my friends. He said I’m too old to have sz. This was when I was 32 years old. He said I have someting else but he didn’t know what. We have lost contact after my psychosis when I was hospitalized. We talk occationally, but not about that.

Another friend thought it was really cool that I had an “imaginary” dog and saw my guardian angel, sensing ghosts and hearing voices. We are still friends and we can always count on each other.

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a LOT of interesting replies here. i like reading them…

There have definitely been some heart breaks when telling people straight up. Or at all. The girlfriend that took off at the first sign of trouble was a huge heartbreak.

The most scared/ terrified I’ve ever been discussing this with anyone was my first week stabilized in hospital and the kid sis could wait no more. (I’d been in for over a month, but i wasn’t stable.) Our parents flat out refused to let her see me until I stabilized.(I used to be so angry at them for that, but now, I’m grateful. She was only 6, I could only imagine how freaked out she would have been facing me back then.) She actually used all her piggy bank change, and begged our brother Jack to help her take the bus across town to see me. She was with me during the episode that landed me in restraints and in hospital. I was really nervous about seeing her. But I think her being only 6 actually helped. If she really understood or not, i don’t know. But she was cool about it. She wasn’t fazed by my new SZ label. To her it was still PTSD, or bipolar, or anything else that was on my folder. She sort of had a “different word doesn’t make you a different person” mind set.

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I had some different reactions. Ive been hospitilized a few times and until the last one earlier this year I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. My parenrs were upset but were really supportive. My sister doesnt believe I have it and is rude about it and my boyfriend knew balready and has been supportive. My friends however ive lost a few but my good friends understajd but they dont hang around me like they used to. Mainly because im stuck inside the walls of my home not wanting to leave :confused:

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I had that happen as well. When I was in the thick of it, everyone wanted to try and get me out and feeling better in a hurry. But I was too shattered to do it at the time. If I could walk down the street to the corner market for my smokes, that was a huge step for my day. Now that I am stronger and stable, now that I have learned some coping tools and can go out, now no one is really around. But as some friends see me out and about, they have been slowly coming back. One thing I have to admit it more people came back when I gave up drinking.

has drinking hurt your life J?

i drink but i drink alone. always have. theres been a few times i drank with my dad. which wasnt a good idea because he is an alcoholic. but i admit to it i suppose.

Yeah I know what you mean. Leaving the house for a few things or an appointment is good for me. I haven’t found a good way to cope with going out a lot yet.

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Sorry it took so long to reply, I’ve been out. Has drinking hurt my life. The way I did it, I would have to say yes. I can’t stop at one bottle. I know I was an angry and violent person when I was drunk. The thing is, that it runs in the family. All my brothers are the same. Sober, we’re all pretty friendly and we were raised to be kind. But when any of us guys are drunk, we’re angry, hurtful and sometimes violent.