Substance abuse and 12 step meetings

Health and Recovery
1

I have been sober for about a year and a half now.
I know that AA meetings and such have helped many people but I have a hard time being around so many people.
I also find the meetings to be very confrontational and intrusive. Guilt driven almost.
Has anyone else had similar experiences or is it me being paranoid?

2

I think it depends on the group. There are a few in my city and one is held at the hospital and has a good and professional facilitator. That one was easy for me to go to.

Iā€™ve been to some that have the same thing going on that your mentioning. It seemed to meet in a different place and time all the timeā€¦ that one was disorganized and hard for me to be in.

Congratulations on being sober and working at it. Thank you for posting this. I wish I could relay how much I appreciate this.

Iā€™m having a rough night.

1 Like
3

I dislike these groups. Itā€™s easy to meet junkies of the opposite sex that drag you back into addiction if youā€™re not careful.

4

Thanks and sorry you are having a bad night.
Iā€™ve been told I not working the program right and Iā€™m just not being honest with myself and it really hurts because I do try. It was the only way I was connecting with society and since Iā€™ve stopped going I have become a recluse. Iā€™m having a difficult time finding a doc thatā€™s in my network and will go days without contact with anyone. I stay within the confines of our property and the paranoia is deafening.
I feel hopeless.

5

Yeah, every meeting is different. Every meeting has itā€™s own personality. You can always try different meetings and maybe you will find one you like. Iā€™ve been to weekly meetings that had two or three people attending total. My problem was crack. I got clean in 1990 in an AA meeting that was held in the group home I was in at the time. It usually only had from 5-8 people attending each week. It was NOT confrontational. It was pretty mellow even though some of the people who attended regularly were hardcore alcoholics.

2 Likes
6

Iā€™ve tried many meetings and I still just cannot connect.
My vice was opiates.
Iā€™m just tired of having so many ā€œlabelsā€.
Iā€™ve never been to a therapist but am on a waiting list soā€¦

7

Its hard to find a place where you feel ok. Dont give up. A therapist might just do the trick.
Good luck!

1 Like
8

If youā€™re in a town of any size at all you can shop around for different AA groups. Different groups have different personalities. Lots of people in AA might not like the personalities in one group and search for one that suits them better.

1 Like
9

There are a number of mutual aid / recovery groups that donā€™t use the 12 step model and are more secular / CBT based. SMART Recovery is the biggest though there are others:

google ā€˜alternatives to aaā€™ (Iā€™m new so canā€™t post links yet!!)

There is no evidence that these are any less effective. Shop around, find something that feels comfortable to you.

10

Iā€™ve been to a thousand 12-step meetings. I was probably the lowest man there at all of them. But they accepted me anyway. Some of the people were cool, some were jerks. I was just happy to be there.

1 Like
11

i must have done a thousand or more 12 step meetings in the past as well, but havenā€™t been for around 7 years. iā€™m over 13 years sober (despite the odd slip). i was in severe addiction for around 17 years & also suffered severe psychosis/schizophrenia. i do see it as genuine dual diagnosis.

iā€™ve continued to explore & develop my spirituality, which is to me what itā€™s all about. 12 step i think does what it says on the tin, but there is also a lot of sickness in the meetings, & i do find it all a bit cult like, a lot of people get stuck in it all. i needed to move on. i didnā€™t find much in the way of understanding & support for the mental health side of things, a lot seemed to be blamed on addiction. i found a lot of ego in the meetings, a lot of opinionated people, who thought they were experts on all kinds of subjects - they werenā€™t.

i think things are very individual for people. If i was in utter desperation again with addiction, then iā€™d go back, but currently i have no desire to sit in a room full of addicts & alcoholics. There are all sorts of people around the rooms, some good people, some A holes, all sorts.

i suppose itā€™s a case of what people are drawn to & what suits them. i donā€™t see 12 step as having any kind of monopoly on spirituality or recovery, & there is a lot to criticise it all for. iā€™m content for now to follow my own path, healing & truth, without doing groups.

2 Likes
13

I am more than two months sober and nicotine and smoke (except the grill) free. I was going to AA meetings for a while but always felt that I was the main attraction, because where ever I go I put on a show just so that I feel that Iā€™m not fading out of existence for lack of it.

Quitting makes me feel like I am stronger mentally then most (normal) others who drink and smoke but canā€™t seem to give it up. The demons of self destruction will always be on the look out for to exploit any weakness we are feeling (usually by thinking defeatist thoughts) ( like thinking we are going to die any way thoughts), as long as we are alive. Just like convicts who are given a life sentence would always be on the lockout for that one opportunity to escape but they only will if we unlock that door and set them free.

1 Like
14

I am currently 23 years sober thru AA. Iā€™ve found most groups to be pretty easy going and non-confrontational. Some groups are unhealthy and youā€™ll find you can leave a meeting needing two more. Avoid those groups. AA is not for everyone, but itā€™s helped me and a lot of other people I know. Iā€™d call myself a Doofus Agnostic as far as religion/spirituality go.

10-96

1 Like