Venting:
I feel like everyone I know has better mood than I do. I know I’m recovering from psychosis still but I just feel like everyday is the same. When I went for pizza I was listening to my two friends talk, more than actually contributing much to the conversation. Despite that I had a nice time enjoying their company, but frustrated that I couldn’t say much else to them.
I find it hard to do that. My mood is a 4/10 at all times, I’m barely hanging on. I’m not that low but it’s bad.
Spending time with people who aren’t schizophrenic can bring you down as you end up comparing yourself to them in so many ways.
I don’t know. I live with my Mum and I can speak to her freely and express myself well without any difficulty whatsoever- albeit, She’s the closest person to me and I’ve known her my whole life, it’s just with other people my mind goes blank, I have nothing to say and I’m quiet. I just hate that
Instead of comparing yourself to your friends who never went through what you have been through, try to realize just how far you have come since your psychotic episode. You are out having pizza! That’s a good thing!
I get the blank mind, having nothing to say, thing. I go through it too. Try not to let it get you down. It may pass with more recovery time.
I just hate being a bystander all the time, a mute. My social anxiety skyrockets when I’m with people who I know are good and that I love. I just feel like a total freak whenever I’m out with people. And it just feels like it’s not getting better- I try to combat it by embracing challenges and taking myself out of my comfort zone, but my mood never changes.
I admit I sound quite negative all the time here but it’s just so hard, I’m just waiting for things to get better, for my mood to get better, to feel good about life and enjoy it. But it’s just so bleak.
Here’s hoping to change
I can relate to the blank mind happening. I wish I had more to say when I’m out with people.
I guess I mostly listen. Do you suppose you do too? Maybe your friends appreciate you for always being a great listener.
But I get it. It’s hard to see others so happy and chatty when you’re not feeling that way. @Mountain
Maybe a counseler or therapist might be able to work you through the social anxiety. 
I guess it depends on the person. I’m better with talking one to one but in groups of three (me included) I just get shy and don’t say much. I’m always afraid of what people think with whatever I say, it freezes me in place… could be a social anxiety thing I guess
Yes thanks for the suggestion. I am seeing a cbt therapist for my psychosis recovery. Mainly tackling my anhedonia and remnants of psychotic beliefs, but we’ve yet to get truly started on the work. I’ll definitely bring this up to her when I see her on Friday