don’t underestimate victims.
Wait a minute, how’d my post turn up at # 14 instead of #6 where I left it?
And how’d the prior posts edit their posts after I posted this, which was only a facitious reply, something I wouldn’t have done if all the other replies had actually been there before it.
I get the feeling things aint quite as they seem on here, and it’s not the first time my posts have been ‘different’ than I left them.
That kind of stuff don’t sit well with me, but like usual nothing I can do except leave it alone.
Think it’s time to tend to more important tasks in my real life that have been neglected lately.
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I think castration is an appropriate solution in some cases.
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Sometimes posts need to be approved by moderators before they appear on the forum. The software uses some kind of algorithm to do this, but it’s not clear to me why it chooses some posts over others, and it’s usually only with new members. Also, no posts in this thread have been edited by moderators. We generally don’t do that. If the post was edited by the user within ten minutes, you won’t be able to view the changes made, but if it was edited after ten minutes, you can click the orange pencil to see what was changed.
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I am a gentleman, I dont do sexual harassment. Went through life 47 years without committing a sexual harassment and my secret is to be capable of empathy to know if a woman feels comfortable for me to make any advance or not. Its quite possible to know that if you have good socialisation and have developed a basic skill to read other peoples verbal and non verbal messages toward you. Whenever I started something with a woman I made sure there was a mutual attraction and a build up of mutual tension that something like asking for a touch or kiss would be appropriate. It helps is you aks first, and if you get a “no”, “not yet”, “not right now” or §no I just want to be friends" one has to respect it. I never in joke randomly touch a woman on their parts…that is just wrong and asking for trouble. For this you have to really now the person for a long time and even among friends or aquaintances its something very chouvenistic to do and disrepectful.
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If the girl was old enough I don’t see the problem. People also get in trouble for very minor things and their lives are forever ruined by the government. Even in my case, where the “victim” was above the age of consent, my life is gone. Doesn’t matter that he tried to extort me, doesn’t matter that he stole money from me, doesn’t matter that he wasn’t a minor. My life is ruined.
Don’t be so quick to judge.
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by saying I am a gentleman, I mean also, I dont buy girls, I dont go for one night stands, I dont go for minors…just healthy consensual long term/open end relations with real attraction and love among grown ups . Whats so difficult about this? If you follow this you wont get in trouble. And remember to ask before you touch, if it would be ok to do so. If no, that means no. Simple. If you get in trouble while following all this, then that is an attempt to black mail or get you in trouble for the sake of getting you in trouble. I think that happens not too often. Its the exception to the rule.
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I didn’t know that. I’m like visiting all the past posts and clicking the orange pencil. lol, get to see everyone’s original post lol lol lol
the articles I find are from search results with the words “sexting,” “sexual harassment” and etc. don’t look at me, bro: I’m not labeling those articles. complain to Google
but yeah, if a man commits sexual harassment, and nobody reports it, then it can evolve into something worse; and by the time it does get reported, the report’s far worser than the initial act of sexual harassment.
sexual harassment should not be underestimated or shrugged aside, regardless of a victim’s age.
I hope I don’t have to post the definition of sexual harassment, so that people will understand the severity of it.
I grabbed a guy’s booty once when I was in middle school. Got a broken nose as a reward. Learned my lesson.
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Haha if someone grabbed my butt I would feel like I received a compliment. LOL
But that’s just me.
Maybe not appropriate behavior, but in my opinion violence isn’t an appropriate answer either.
This is what I’m beginning to see though of some of the culture.
oh yeah, I forgot to post this:
if a man has an issue with this thread, I suggest he Mute it or talk to a moderator. I don’t want to go off-topic and get thread locked.
I’m saying this for the man’s protection, as I won’t flag his posts but others will.
From reading some of the posts on here, it appears there may be some confusion about sexual harassment versus sexual battery. Also, note that the perpetrator can be any gender as can the victim.
Here are some links about sexual harassment from the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm
https://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/publications/fs-sex.cfm
Sexual battery laws may vary by state. Here is a link to the California penal codes covering sexual battery.
https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/codes_displaySection.xhtml?lawCode=PEN§ionNum=243.4.
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I don’t understand what this has to do with sexual harassment or why it’s relevant to the thread.
I suppose there is a smooth transition from harassment to rape or battery…sexual harassment is some shades lighter than rape or battery…but one thing can lead to another…its a question by degree of violating the other person sexually…it goes from unwanted inuendo, cat calling, to groping or kissing to forcefully undressing and having some sort of inconsensual sex with the other person…I am not sure what is the purpose of this thread anymore, we can discuss the dos and donts of how to make advances to another person, what is illegal, what is hurtful, where one draws the line, to listen to the perspective of the victims who unfortunatly have dealt with this, but really must we have the perspective of the perpetrators??? I dont think its possible to understand and justifiy any perpetration of this wrongful behavivour…I do recognise that some men fall into a trap or are blackmailed or manipulated somehow, but this is not whats usually happening. The problem wiht sexual harrassment and worse sexual rape and battery is real for many women, girls, men and boys and the victims and their suffering are the primary concern here. . .
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Stillperking, thank you for giving me this perspective, as a man I found it very good for me to be able to read this to make me more aware of this problem. I am so sorry you had to experience these things…
“Call-out culture can end up mirroring what the prison industrial complex teaches us about crime and punishment: to banish and dispose of individuals rather than to engage with them as people with complicated stories and histories.”
“A society should be judged not by how it treats its outstanding citizens, but by how it treats its criminals.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky
I feel when people call out they’re just trying to hide away the darkness in their own heart.
It’s like when I feel awful for being called f–got, by my own brother or others. Then some fool comes along and tries to tend to the persons who said the awful thing with violence rather than address how it makes you feel and how you adjust to dealing with the insult. They leave both of us in the dark and just create another problem.
Again, I contest! Justice and the justice “system” are not the same AT ALL.
I tend to agree with you.
Everyone, if just the principle of making someone feel frightened or upset with unwanted advances isn’t enough to deter you from sexual misbehavior, the law should be. Make sure to familiarize yourself with the laws where you live and abide by them. They really aren’t matters of opinion - just because you think you should be able to do something doesn’t make it so.
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So what are you suggesting exactly? That victims should not report a crime to protect the sensibilities of the perpetrator? What a crock of misguided bullshlt! 
EDIT: @rhubot shut the thread down just as I posted so I (unintentionally) got the last word in.
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