Still listening to Maneskin and not facing the grief waiting for me. I just keep rocking and self medicating on edibles. I used to cry all the time…I think this is good for me. what do you think? should I turn off the music and face my grief? I think it might go away in a couple days.
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I’m so sorry for your loss @jukebox it’s ok to grieve but if you feel like music will help you deal with it then that’s fine too. Hope you feel better soon! 
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thank you @Hadeda I think the pain won’t be so great in few days…sometimes I burst out in tears even when I’m happy with the music…it’s strange for me right now.
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I think you are grieving even while listening to music. It’s okay if music is helping.
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I think it was fate that I discovered Maneskin at the same time my dad died. It is really like sauve on a wound. I am totally at peace and happy except when my grief grabs a hold of me and shakes me into tears. Long live Maneskin.
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I know the subject of spirituality is not allowed and can be harmful but i feel as though facing sadness or grief on may be more harmful in processing it like facing it head on without more self care and guidance. My friends mom just died i realize some of the things ive said in passing conversations may have upset him now beginning to understand why the topic of religion is banned. Just know u r loved and welcome and that u r not alone wishing u strength to process very sorry and hope u find ways to cope
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the pain comes and goes…like waves…there’s a start, a peak, and then tears. then I go back to having emotional chills rocking out really hard to Maneskin…it takes me away to a happy numb place. I believe it is fate that I found Maneskin when I did…it really is helping.
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Just let it happen as it needs to. There’s no time limit.
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thanks bud…yes, it will always hurt a little I think.
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You’ll grieve as you need to. There os not set way to do it.
When my mother died, I was stoic. I had a tear fall when I was told she died, but that was it. Sure, I mourned, but it was all inside. I had alreafy experienced the death of the women who actuallyraised me and jad cried some then,so dealing with my mom passing was easier in a sense.
Then when I found out my step father (the one who was there at my birth and I thought was my birth farher) had died, I was sad but didn’t cry. We hadn’t been close in a very long time, so I mourned losing the lost years.
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@anon4362788 that’s exactly it for me, I felt so alienated by my brother in law from my step moms new family speaking of dad at the funeral…the video had one out of a hundred pictures of just martha’s time with dad…so distant, so many years without a father, put myself through college when dad promised to buy my truck for me so I would have a vehicle and go to college without having to work…he hardly almost didn’t pay my first semester’s tuition and said he couldn’t help me anymore…I put myself through…I think that’s what made me able to be the only schizophrenic in my family due to pressure…college and working was very, very hard on me…one time in college I needed money for food and called my dad for money…he said I will buy something from you but I 'm not giving you money…I told him all I had was my racing bike that I got around on , no car. he said I will buy that, but that’s the only way I’m going to help you…also , he never paid off my truck…he never made a payment after I signed it over to him and I lost thousands and he made all the money on the buy back…never forgot that…my dad was violent growing up after my mom and dad got back together after he cheated on my mom for a year and came back…I was the only one old enough to know what dad did…I made it hell for him and mom and him eventually divorced because mom could forgive but couldn’t forget that dad cheated on her.
Well, honestly, that isn’t the sort of person that deserves your mourning. Don’t beat yourself up for not feeling anything much. Why should you, beyond relief?
Most people don’t like what I am about to say.
Death doesn’t magically make a bad person good. Some people only do good by leaving our lives.
My husband just dealt with this and his family was gobsmacked that when his abusive stefather died earlier this year my husband didn’t care. The man brought nothing but toxicity to everyone he knew. I honestly never met one person that enjoyed his presence.
It is ok to not mourn anythung except for the what might have beens. But don’t get lost in that.
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@anon4362788 you talk like someone with a PhD. I bet you’ve had some kind of counseling experience the way you help me…thank you for everything you’ve said…yes, my dad is an ■■■■■■■ in my mom’s words for what he did to us kids to spite my mom. Mom put him through pharmacy school and med school working jobs …then when he became a doctor she left him for another man. she never saw much money in child support of my brother and sister…and he never helped us kids…I understand why he held a grudge against me after the divorce but my brother and sister could have enjoyed a lot better life had he been a good dad to us. yes, relieved is how I feel now that I know he knows what he did. somewhere out there.
You might benefit from grief counseling. It has helped many, especially those who had to deal with trauma regarding the death of the family member or loved one. I encourage you to attend. I think it might help you. There is probably a group in your area or over zoom you could join.
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I hate to ask this but who died if you dont mind me asking
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Just an effed up life.
And I’ve had a small amount of training, just this year. Nothing grief related. I second @anon55031185 suggestion.
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When people die, sometimes i cope imagining the moved to another country.
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