I remember feeling totally secretive about the fact that I was diagnosed with sz. I didn’t want anyone to know. I felt like I was not up for all the judgement and misunderstanding about what the diagnosis meant.
There is so much misunderstanding about sz and how we can thrive once we get our recovery on track. I still believe that most people don’t understand that sz does not mean violence or multiple persosnalities. We can enter into the recovery process and start living our lives the way we want to live.
I still don’t tell everyone but I’m more open about my challenges and try to inspire others with a similar diagnosis that we can go to work, go to college or volunteer to give our lives more fulfillment. We don’t have to hide and withdraw and not be proud of our recovery.
Glad to know things are better than in the beginning. I try to simply ignore social pressures wherever I find them.
As far as I’m concerned I have enough demons myself without needing to cater to those of others as well. I care not what’s considered proper, I do whatever I feel like as long as it’s not wrong, and if people have a problem with it because I don’t uphold their imaginary rules I consider it a good deed for the day. That way they may learn to make better categories than proper and improper and give actual reasons for why something should or shouldn’t be legitimate instead of appealing to expectations.
I do the same with Schizophrenia. It’s not my problem how you judge me. I do me. You do you. If you ask or there’s a reason for me to tell(and there often is), you’ll know just like any other information about me. If me having schizophrenia changes something in you that shouldn’t be changing I am giving you a chance to work on yourself, you are welcome.
That’s how I operate. I will not be ruled nor limited by shame because the things that we should be ashamed of aren’t shaming us and those that we should feel no shame about do. I don’t cater to the judgment of others and I face the consequences. It’s better than taking up emotions I shouldn’t be feeling in the first place.
I am disabled and receive disability pay and health insurance. I need grace and patience for my life now. I lived with my parents my whole life. I have not recovered but am well taken care of. I am proud that people have helped me with my disability. It is very fulfilling to me to see the help I have gotten from others to deal with this disability.
