Sometimes it is good to remember the past. 20 years ago I had shipped my car with all of my things to Antwerp, Belgium from Miami and I lived outdoors for one month in Miami Beach. Basically I slept on the lawns, especially on the lawn of Miami Beach’s main library. I would have had money to go to any hotel, but I did not want to spend my money in that way. Always in the mornings after waking up I went to McDonalds to eat my breakfast. During the days I just walked around Miami Beach and saw different people such as those Gulf war veterans who complained about their treatment by the US military. I counted my days to make myself ready for my flight to Brussels, Belgium. After living like this in Miami Beach I spent my last three days of my US stay in one good hotel near Miami International Airport where I went different pools to relax. In general I ate well and used Miami Beach’s showers to wash myself. However I would not like to repeat that experience because it was quite stressful occasionally. So those were my last days in Miami and Miami Beach. Well, I survived and now I have been writing here on the sz forum for nearly nine years. Sometimes it is good to remember the past and I have many other good stories from my life in Miami.
I used to be an alcoholic. My early to late twenties all i did was get drunk. I worked as a cook and in landscaping. Work hard, play hard was my philosophy. They were decent times. I never had much money though so life was always a struggle. When i was 26 i got schizophrenia. I stopped smoking weed everyday and continued that for four years. I turned 30 and looked for a good job. I found one that paid 40k a year. I bought a new car and got an apartment. But then i started smoking weed again and psychosis followed shortly after.
Ive quit smoking weed now. I moved home and am on disability. So back to being poor. Its easy though cause im used to it and dont have to pay rent. I just recently sobered up from alcohol as it makes me paranoid. Things are good now. Im stable and have a roof over my head and food to eat. I like to think about college and post college. I had a lot of fun and met a lot of people. Now im okay just staying home with my puppy and parents. I dont go out much. If i do its to the gas station for chewing tobacco snd something carbonated to drink. I found that soda or red bull helps me get over the craving for beer.
I remember a trip on which my twin and his wife took me to Atlanta. It was before they had kids and they had good jobs so they could do a lot. We climbed Kennesaw Mountain, visited the Weather Channel studios (they had friends who worked there), watched the Hawks play the Bulls when Jordan was playing, ate chili cheese fries, and played video games at Dave and Busters. It was a dream trip.
The first time I was at the Midnight Mission in downtown Los Angeles in 2010 there was a young man there who I heard left the Mission to go live on the beach. I thought about doing that too but then I wondered where I would get food. So I stayed at the Mission for a while longer until I got in trouble for not following all of their rules and got put on lockdown where I couldn’t leave the Mission anymore so then I moved back in with my dad.
Weed makes me kinda very minorly pshycotic. It is like turning up the volume for voices. When I get too out there I stop. I use it to practice my mind control. I like it thou. It makes life more alive. Music gains extra colors. I take pleasure in exercising afterwards. That of course is up to a point that I stop. I don’t smoke much. Just a little to spice up life a bit. My pdoc is aware but he knows I use small doses.
I like to remember the past before I was diagnosed. I had a pretty good time but I behaved starngly due to the underlying condition which had not emerged fully but was there nevertheless. I lived in Boston for 8 months. I used to walk the entire Boston area on weekends. I had my walkman and it was pretty fun to live in the usa. Tought me a lot of lessons specially regarding freedom.
Yeah. I was always a little out there. People always used to ask me what i was on because i was so weird. Little did i know schizophrenia was on its way
I like your personal survival stories. I suppose that our experiences may make us stronger.
yes, that is an awesome story.
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