Solace in Naivety

Back in my early 20’s I had some friends who were honestly very naïve and I loved that about them. I’d been through too much at this point in my life and cherished my time spent with these friends who were so wide eyed and new to the world. My ex however, always the oh so intelligent one, was the one who pointed out that it was that they were naïve that I spent my time with them. But this is why I liked and even in the case of one, grew to love them. They allowed me to feel like a kid again in a way, I could see the world through their eyes and loved it. They were my fortress of naivety in a world so cold I’d grown to hate it.

One of these friends and I even found an apartment and became roommates for a while. We’d throw parties on the weekends and watch marathon Monty Python sketches and have debates and philosophical conversation lasting well into the early morning hours. I miss these days for these friends, this one in particular eventually was to become cold and cruel as she got a little older and wiser to the ways of the world.

This was the one who became furious when she learned that I’d been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder saying “You’re NOT crazy!” “You’re just DIFFERENT!” As she fast grew up before my eyes she got more and more mean and resentful of me. She’d single me out at parties for mockery and embarrassment, she’d scream at me to “get a damn job like everyone else!”

Last I saw of her she was kicking me out of her backyard late one night saying she didn’t wish to see me until I had a job, a house and a wife. This was the last I spoke to her. Haven’t seen any of these old friends since those days seven or eight years ago.

I miss them greatly, but not as they are now but as they were then.

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I’ve had a few so called ‘friends’ and even family that have said things like that. I am sorta thankful for the ones who cast me out, as it was often THEM holding me down from getting those things… Now I don’t even need a job and I have the rest…strangely the few ‘friends’ that learned of this then became jealous! LOL…
Point being, I don’t consider those kind of people true friends if they wanna be like that…

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I had ‘friends’ in my past - I do think that they were good friends, especially in the beginning of our friendship.
I was too grandiose and self absorbed to be a good friend to them - I was naive in my youth and I did hang around this one guy who was years older than me - he was basically a sociopath and I was too ill to see the truth.
I am more of a believer of family ties. There was a period in my life when I was married to my abusive wife, another sociopath, where I broke my ties and ignored many family members - now that I am doing better, I am closer to my family.
True friends are hard to find - I used them - and got used myself - I do think that I am starting to trust myself and some of my family, this is good enough for me. I really do not have any use for befriending strangers


No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! (It was either that or My Parrot is No More but I think Spanish Inquisition is funnier :-p )

I’ve never had any true friends. I’ve had people who I’ve cared for and wish had been my friends but when I get too close to people I push them away. When I can see the cracks in people, which everyone has, it frightens me.

There was this one person who could have been a real friend to me. When I first got back from the hospital I couldn’t even email people without trouble so I told him I thought it was best if we stopped talking. I didn’t know I would get better. So, at my insistence, we severed communications. Then later when I was feeling better I tried to contact him and he wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t blame him. He moved on with his life. I can understand it. Still it hurts thought.

I feel lonely most of the time. My mom is the only person I can talk to. Even ignoring the fact she is my mom there are certain aspects of her personality which make it impossible to have certain types of conversations (the esoteric kind you mentioned earlier.)

Despite all this I’m given solace by the fact that I think now that if I did meet a potential friend I would truly appreciate them. Being lonely has given me insight into the importance of human social connections.

There are almost seven billion people in this world. You probably won’t meet them all but given those chances it is certain that there are a vast number of the right sort of people out there to form lasting friendships with, people that will make you feel truly connected. People change all the time. If you are lucky, you will find the rarest type of friendship, that in which the two people change but their connection remains solid.

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I’ve burnt a lot of bridges in my time. I haven’t had a lot of friends. The friends I do have seem closer than most, though.

my grandma ruth said that when you die if you can count your friends on more than one hand you’ve lived an incredible life. I notice that when I’m on facebook someone will have like a thousand friends…sha, like that’s probably true…acquaintances probably but not real friends…I have four really good friends I stay in touch with…college friends mainly. we hardly ever get to actually see eachother anymore but we text and write a lot . I am ok with the humble friends I have still…man, in college it’s like your surrounded by friends and then after college…shewee what a difference…

I’ve had many friends over the years, I wasn’t always the loner I am today. I’ve always been a very private person and it takes a long time to be let into my world so when I consider someone a friend, a friend they are. I haven’t been the greatest friend in the world either, I mean I never expected perfection of any friend as I myself am not perfect. But I have never turned on someone like this particular friend turned on me, and she was a friend. I can’t however say I wasn’t warned as I was warned that she had done this in the past.

I got screwed up by someone else. As long as all your friends are not going crazy around you, I’m very glad you have some friendS.

I went through a period of that due to a girl who was a very bad influence. I cut ties with my family, tried to erase them out of my life. But when I ended up back in hospital and needed help, it wasn’t the girlfriend who came running, it was my family.

I’m so much closer to them now then I used to be. I don’t mind meeting new people, but I do hold a lot of my life back around new people. It’s most likely why it’s hard for me to make friends.

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