Back in my early 20’s I had some friends who were honestly very naïve and I loved that about them. I’d been through too much at this point in my life and cherished my time spent with these friends who were so wide eyed and new to the world. My ex however, always the oh so intelligent one, was the one who pointed out that it was that they were naïve that I spent my time with them. But this is why I liked and even in the case of one, grew to love them. They allowed me to feel like a kid again in a way, I could see the world through their eyes and loved it. They were my fortress of naivety in a world so cold I’d grown to hate it.
One of these friends and I even found an apartment and became roommates for a while. We’d throw parties on the weekends and watch marathon Monty Python sketches and have debates and philosophical conversation lasting well into the early morning hours. I miss these days for these friends, this one in particular eventually was to become cold and cruel as she got a little older and wiser to the ways of the world.
This was the one who became furious when she learned that I’d been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder saying “You’re NOT crazy!” “You’re just DIFFERENT!” As she fast grew up before my eyes she got more and more mean and resentful of me. She’d single me out at parties for mockery and embarrassment, she’d scream at me to “get a damn job like everyone else!”
Last I saw of her she was kicking me out of her backyard late one night saying she didn’t wish to see me until I had a job, a house and a wife. This was the last I spoke to her. Haven’t seen any of these old friends since those days seven or eight years ago.
I miss them greatly, but not as they are now but as they were then.