I am not sure what the main point of my (our) condition might be. Certainly apathy and depression are important. It may not be about hallucinations and delusions. Or about not being able to find a job we can do.
What I currently think the main problem is: The idea that people don’t like us. It is suspicion or, worse, paranoia. It is the frequent thought that people don’t like us. I know I have a lot of problems socially. I am primitive in that way. Also related to this is that sometimes I don’t like them. Foir little reasons, I guess. My social style is a party of one.
Also I need to learn to talk better. To stay on topic. To be interested in others. To have a little wit and humor. To meet people. To be able to think while I am talking. Savour-faire.
I’m really good socially. It’s in my blood and I did enough communication study at Uni level to understand it somewhat. It’s a skill like any other and practice helps.
Honestly a lot of communication is listening and responding to cues. Whether verbal or physical. If someone asks you how you are…you respond to the cue. A good thing is to keep it simple and remember the easy things…
Most people like to talk about themselves. So ask questions to get to know them. See what they like and find your way to telling them how and what you like…
It’s complex to study but it’s simple to execute. Join a club or social setting that appeals to you and practice.
I’ve considered myself a loner in the past. I have friends I don’t see for years at a time. I just reconnected with one and we’re currently texting which makes me happy. I really withdrew in my 20’s. I just fall off the face of the earth especially when I’m living at my parents place. I was thinking about people hating us yesterday. Like they think we’re violent or all homeless criminals. I don’t know.
I got seriously taken advantage of growing up.
My trust for other people is zero.
The only people in my life now are my family, and that’s it.
I don’t think I could trust another human again after being mistreated so badly.
This was even before SZ.
Since I became psychotic I hate all humans with deep bitteer black hatred, with maybe a score of minor exceptions out of those I personally met. (Hence why I.created a speculative topic about direct relation between brain damage, anger and schizophrenia. )
I don’t care if others like me or not generally. But.my.case defenitely supports your idea that the first problem with schizophrenics is social disability.
+++ rogueone described it perfectly. I studied it too. I.hate how easy I.fall for these simple tricks myself. But also don’t have enough desire to solidify my research in that area, like all areas.
I used to categorically reject hate. Now I see it as a real emotion. Also, if a person looks inside, we all have some hate. So it needs to be dealt with. However, I believe that hate hurts, both the individual and others who are the object of hate.
@vladyslavbond Do you hate me for writing? Are you critical of everyone in this way? I sense that you want to change.
I studied COMM as well… but differing from RogueOne for me is that with my schizophrenia I think my educational background served me as a detriment almost or impediment. In COMM-101 they taught me that “One cannot, not communicate”. That was something of an unfortunate takeaway when you mix in the paranoia!
I guess helpful though, was another takeaway in navigating online communication was that “The written word is only 7% of the message.” [Voice over the phone] was only like 18% of the message… while non verbal cues, being interpersonal, was the remainder!
I am critical of everyone, myself included. I apply standards to the society that “sane” people consider unrealistic to fantastic.
First example is universal need for food. I am positive that a pure creature will never under any circumstances take from another just to sustain itself.
Basically, I consider “killing” vegetables to be horrible violence, that has no justification. Nevermind animals. Nevermind human wars. At the beginning of my psychosis I refused to eat for extended periods of time for this reason, and when I did eat, I felt like worst scum in the universe. Once, after a week without food, I cut two tomatoes. As I did so, I cried hysterically and begged them for forgiveness, because I could not control my sensation of hunger.
I am not like that anymore, but I am not even sure if it’s for better or worse. Did I “improve” or did I just dull my senses from realising this horrible truth?
Consider this, and then imagine for yourself what I wanted to do to a guy who said “I like cats and dogs. Everything else is food.”. +++ Nevermind, I will tell you. I wanted to kill and eat him. Thankfully the message was relied to me by second-hand, otherwise I would have definitely attempted it, and I didn’t even know where he was or how he looked.
I hope I made myself clear and didn’t stray too far off-topic.
Happy2Help: My education also fed into my delusions, but in a different manner.
I was a ‘social loner’ way before developing severe mental illness. Periodic failed attempts at socialising have made me more asocial. I rated at classical autism level for social communication. The 2 places I fit in best online are here and the high IQ societies I belong to. The latter even after outing myself as a person with Asperger’s and severe mental illness.
From 2009-2019 I amassed about 55 friends . In the last 8 months or so it’s gone up to 146. Almost all those 91 are high IQ people. who have approached me to be friends.
You must attempt to be less critical of YOURSELF somehow. You were born with hunger/appetite and its the human condition, I believe. As for your tomato example, you definitely need to ease off yourself, because correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t they full of seeds? Don’t animals poop them out and isn’t that a fertilizer?
I’m half Ukrainian so I like your handle, are you new? did you change your name along the way? You’re posts are interesting and helped me because I’m hard on myself, and it’s rare to find a person who has it worse in that regard than I do!
Of course all of what I described are “natural” occurrences. Many argue that conflict is “natural” too. They are still horrible. Human condition and nature are inherently horrible, is my opinion. It belongs in Unusual beliefs section, not here.
I joined in October 2020. I wish I joined Summer 2013, would have been a different person. Feel free to write me a private message in Russian or Polish. Let us not stray off-topic in this thread.
You’re more innocent though compared to how you’ve treated yourself.
I agree I should have trusted this website when I had a prolonged psychosis/ending essentially with a 9 day hospitalization where I believed I would be assassinated by way of a needle. All because I saw that movie with Gerard Butler I think it was. I am of course speaking of medical torture.
I’ll hand you something, my old man said out loud that “human beings don’t have a long history of being civil toward one another.”
But examples of youth in my family and science suggest they will live 103 years!! What I’m telling you is that I have big “squares to circle”, here.
Having family helped me a lot socially and getting friends. I lost ALL my friends after my psychosis and that was a lot. I had different sets of friends. I was lonely for a bit during psychosis. I used to teach math to my uncle’s friend son. So I called him and we then had a coffee together. We became friends hanging out everyday eventhough he’s 5 years younger than me. Then I became friends with his friends and hanged out with them without him.
If you don’t have family try mental health clubs. Friends need effort, they won’t come to you, you have to talk and be nice to them like asking how was their day etc
I am not as social as before psychosis and have much less friends but I am still a bit social. I just talk video chat with my 2 remaining friends now since having severe negative symptoms. They keep insisting about picking me up from my house but I tell them I have no energy, maybe when a better med comes out or if Vraylar works. We play online video games together.
Its extremely hard or even impossible to have friends for ppl with psychosis.
I’m a social loner too. I’m glad i get help from girl from the mobile team. She comes to visit me every 2 weeks and then we go for a walk or go have a hot choc if it’s not lockdown. I’m glad my gp doc comes to visit me every 2 weeks too, then i can let some steam off when I need it. I also got my pdoc but him I see once every 2 or 3 months now depending how it’s going.
But if it wasn’t for them and my parents I would be very lonely.
I’m a social loner too. I dislike crowds and social functions. Even coffee with a loved family member or friends can make me eventually tired and craving time by myself. I do love company but mostly from people I live with. And for short periods at a time. I’m a very shy introvert. Most of my friends are online and I have two good friends I whatsapp.
@vladylavbond I have read your post. I think you have very strong thoughts about vegetables and animals. I have never heard of such passion for this before. Well, I know some people love their pets a lot. I want to apologize for saying, “do you hate me,” because that was too crude and insensitive.
I hope I can help better than that. I will try.
I think about sz and it is very hard. I don’t see any answers right now.
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