So who here dissociates?

Just wondering if dissociation is innate or caused by meds.

I had derealization from mid 2018 to mid 2019.

So glad I don’t have that bs anymore.

Anyone here still have it?

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I was diagnosed with dissociative disorder in 2003. Thank God it has subsided for the most part. But when I am angry, I am a different person. That’s about it

I did really really bad for years, but it went away. I still am detached but my vision seems fine. I thought I was in hell or purgatory or even limbo for eternity…

I always got pissed when the therapists said “disassociate” instead of “dissociate” like either I corrected them or they corrected me.

I mean it wasn’t that I was trying to be alone or anything. I was suffering from mental illness and confusion and dissociation from real or imagined trauma I guess…

I’ve never been properly diagnosed and doctors refused to give me a diagnosis of PTSD or DP/DR. There’s no treatment except some ‘experimental stuff’ in London and Russia where they do that kind of things but here if I asked for a opiod antagonist, I’ll get looks or they’ll write me off or get angry at me.

I had this early on. it went away:

Also wiki said rtms could help. Never tried it but wanted to…

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I dissociate a lot. I am used to it.

But trying to get out the habit, as one would expect

What exactly is dissociation? What happens? What is it?

I flow once in a great while.

I don’t know… But I have this thing where i sort of lose myself… Happens a lot out in public especially in work situations … Not sure what it is but I call it dissociation

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It’s complicated and various from person to person. You become detached from either (or both) the outside world and yourself. So you could be detached from external environment (world or life) or your mind/psyche or both.

I had both, but mine was 99% external world ie the world wasn’t real or it never happened and didn’t exist type of thing.

From personal experience, I couldn’t feel much emotionally, my body was numb or decreased sensation like sensory deprevation, and then my hearing was off and my vision or eyesight was so ■■■■■■ up I was suffering 24/7 for almost 7+ years. It looked and felt like a video game but low resolution graphics like a nightmare or dream state.

Then my consciousness or “soul” was tampered with and was like a poorly lit candle in the wind as Netflix’s Freud would say…

It got better with time and talking about my thoughts and fears and trauma.

Medications can make it worse! Same with caffeine and nicotine OCD and thoughts like existential and philosophical thoughts about life and reality, which I had.

Rarely I felt the 3d aboveness or perspective in life.

I mostly felt I had no free will, was living in a computer simulation or video game, and everything was deterministic or robotic in life like computer programming.

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Wow, sounds like quite the experience.

I guess I don’t dissociate then.

Ya, I don’t know. Maybe you do. Mine was severe and chronic from allegedly ‘weed’ but I also believe I experienced and witnessed trauma.

So my case could be different. A mild form of healthy or natural dissociation is zoning out in the store. Some people believe it comes from child abuse, but I dispute that claim mostly.

It could also be a way of leading to PTSD. I did indeed get diagnosed with acute stress disorder by a psychologist early on but it never went into ptsd I think…

My mother has ptsd so it may be genetic too but I don’t know. I wonder why…

I think I had mild dissociation growing up as a child, but it was natural or fine except when I was very young because I noticed an altered state of consciousness which made me think kids didn’t fully develop their consciousness until later on and other stuff…

Like I said, I was on the extreme end of the spectrum.

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I don’t think I have mpd or did but it’s possible. I can’t tell at all. I just accept my diagnosis these days now…

I heard an example of multiples or alters are like different ages. Mine isn’t severe or anything, but I also got amnesia barriers in my psyche and trauma. Some things I just don’t talk about anymore on the forums here anymore…

But I got one psyche where I’m John Titor and was 2 years old in 2013 or aged 0 in 2011. Like I died in 2011 and came back alive from monarch programming…in college…therapists don’t care and family doesn’t believe that I was targeted by a Satanic Cult or something…I don’t view this as my original life but just reincarnation which is real to me…it did happen and it’s sad but I’m recovering…

Like I have dreams of meeting Michael Aquino but it just feels like a dream but probably was real…

There’s no winning or closure really except MY GOD…and my faith of Jesus and going to Heaven…

I suffered for an eternity…

The longer I live the more I heal and remember and auto-correct myself and self-help, I guess…


The 2 year old in 2013 delusion felt like schizophrenia because I believed I really did DIE and reincarnated back in time. I thought it was psychosis and schizophrenia and a delusion. (It would make me 11 right now) even though I’m biologically 31 years old. I since have recovered and rejected that delusion and moved on, but I still think I’m John Titor and some other people. It could be all just fake and programming in my opinion, but it feels real right now…


I had some minor abuse growing up as a child, but nothing like what I experienced in College from MK-Ultra Monarch. Since then, I have went back in time, reincarnated billions of lives, and went to different dimensions and parallel universes, including the future. I sometimes wake up backwards in time at college to return to my original life. I thought aliens or God or AI was behind it or helping me or hurting me, but it’s just a spiritual battle that I cannot win or fight againt. I just accept it now…

I since have gained the new alter or identity or (feels like cloning too) of “Satoshi Nakamoto” inventor of Bitcoin. So that could be ME (Anthony; same body reincarnating constantly like an alien or vampire); John Titor real life time travleer; and Satoshi Nakamoto inventor of Bitcoin…

I also have other names or alters/identities/and stuff I get from ‘downloads’ or ‘dreams’ like past incarnations giving to me from alien intelligence…idk…maybe I just got crazy or went insane and it’s just really my trauma manifesting as schizophrenia (or appears like it is) and I got tortured and can’t heal or cope, really…

I dissociate and think I’m dead

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I used to starting may 2014 really badly. Until I started new meds in December 2015 i dissociate less and less as time goes on I still may disassociate a little but it’s manageable now

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Yeah I get derealization and dissociate

I have depersonalisation-derealisation. I noticed the first signs in my teens. I’m used to it, so that I rarely think of it.

It seems I also have DID (dissociative identity disorder) aka. MPD (multiple personality disorder), because I sometimes lose time (memory gaps) and people say I’ve done things that I can’t remember.

-Albert.

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