This is something I’ve never Googled or really looked into at all (dissociation), so in my experience I am typically aware of when I am experiencing it. The trouble begins when psychosis enters the equation. Then I would have no idea about anything self-awareness related.
If I go on dissociated for a while and DON’T realise, there are usually fairly obvious markers after a while, such as “holy ■■■■ where did my week go” or I just see obvious signs of time lapse in general. To me it feels a lot like hearing the world from underwater or from a distance away from myself and it becomes clearer when I am forced to try to interact with the world and realise I am not taking in the half of it.
I wonder what it looks like from the outside. Probably like my grandpa looks like when he walks into a room and forgets what he went there for. For hours. I do that too, by the way.
It’s alright, you can derail my thread, I don’t mind. It’s actually fascinating because I think I dissociate a lot. I have moments when I feel myself in the moment and in reality, colors become brighter, my sense of touch enhanced, but most of the time I’m just surfing the wave not really in touch.
I get it from time to time, but not super often. I can’t really tell or figure out what is happening (in reality) when it happens, either. It’s like my mind is very sure that I already have saved files / memories of the present situation, maybe that I dreamed it or it already happened, or I somehow predicted it. But it passes within moments, before I get the chance to really analyze it. So it winds up being mysterious little “blips” in my reality. If I obsess over it, it starts feeling like omg it’s a glitch in the Matrix lol.
I’ve always experienced deja vu. My earliest was having got my first job as a dishwasher I often got deja vu about having been in that situation before but maybe it was all the steam I was breathing that tended to make me a little dizzy and all the pot I was smoking in my free time.
But yes I have a strong relation to the Deva Vu experience, when I’ve mentioned it in recent years people have reacted oddly though, like it had not to my knowledge become a taboo…dare I ask is it?
I don’t get it a lot, I usually get the opposite - jamais vu - which is a familiar situation that is unfamiliar. It happens when i have a dissociative or depersonalisation experience. Like when I am sitting around the lunch table with familiar family and suddenly everything seems strange and weird like I am alone amongst strangers, and I have a panic attack.
My husband gets a lot of deja vu feelings though - almost every day, and some of them are an aura for his seizures as he has epilepsy and these deja vu experiences sometimes warn him of an impending seizure.
Yes losing chunks of time is dissociation generally. I have aspects of it/have had but not this, the losing of time. Losing of self is more like it. I know people who’ve described being in one town in their car and the next thing they know their two towns over without knowing they’d driven anywhere.
I believe I may have a dissociative disorder on the grand scale of things, that the people around me are continually trying to recreate my experiences in an attempt to get me to “flip” which is never going to happen even if I do have this very real (I’ve seen it first hand) disorder. I’m me, that’s who I am, it may not be very clear or strikingly normal, but it’s who I am and I’m in no a way a criminal thank you very much. That’s about it.