I just felt anxious and self conscious the whole time. I wasted money on food and coffee. I spent some time people watching while having my coffee though.
But…
It’s quite a sobering thought that I will never interact in real life with another human in any meaningful way again in my entire life. I interact with my family and doctors and that’s it. Forever more.
That’s what I learned while people watching.
I go to work and medical stuff thats it other than online
I get nervous out in towns too. I never speak to anyone when I am out in town - just get a coffee.
But hey you’re interacting with people here. Admittedly it’s digitally but I suppose that’s something.
You’d think we had something against ourselves physically because as long as we’re on the forum, we express ourselves well. But I wonder because I’m never too anxious to meet any of us physically. Right, I think I’m ugly and will be immediately rejected.
Yeah I don’t interact with hardly anyone.
I hardly interact with family members.
The only people that I briefly interact with are store cashiers.
The isolation is kind of getting to me.
I also have been feeling a bit down lately.
I really don’t feel very comfortable in public places.
Maybe @77nick77 can give some advice on this topic. He’s posted recently on how he’s felt more comfortable interacting with folks in public.
Hey, I’ve seen your photo chordy, you’re quite good looking 
The only people that I briefly interact with are store cashiers.
Same here.
As @jimbob said, at least digital interaction (here) is something.
The ugliness is due to being tense. A tense face can’t be as relaxed as having a picture taken by a trusted friend at home. It’s conditional ugliness.
Personally I love towns. It makes me feel normal to go into stores and interact with the people at the counter and get some fresh air and exercise. It just makes me feel like I’m just like everyone else, doing things that everyone else does
But you’re the only one who thinks that about yourself. If you feel that you can’t make friends because nobody likes you, you are probably wrong. There are people out there in the world who will like you and even people out there who need you.
I don’t want to raise false hopes but people are pretty damn accepting and they will overlook a lot. Even Hitler had friends and he even had a steady girl friend. I assume that you’re nicer than Hitler, so don’t put yourself down. After I got out of the hospital last year for feeling suicidal, I was put in a temporary crisis house for two weeks. I couldn’t look anybody in the eyes and I couldn’t be around people so I repelled people and I made them uncomfortable.and I thought I was going to end up in some back ward for the rest of my life. But a couple of people there liked me even when I was at my worst.
Like I said, I don’t want to raise false hopes but where I’m living now I have to share a room with some 27 year old kid who was homeless for 8 months right out of high school. I have done a million stupid things since I moved in here, I’ve embarrassed myself countless times and acted like a fool. But this guy has borne my stupidity and he still likes me and we get along fine when we aren’t busy intimidating each other.
Just about three weeks ago I thought my social life was over too. But life is funny and now I’m back to normal (relatively speaking). and I just finished lunch ten minutes ago and on my way back to my room I stopped and chatted with a resident here and greeted another.
Only as recently as last year (I’m 55 years old by the way) I didn’t to people and I thought nobody liked me. But something happened and now I know most people like me and I talk at every opportunity and when I go out to buy shoes or a belt or something I talk to the salesperson or other people. It’s not magic or a miracle from god. It’s just having a great desire to talk and being curious about other peoples lives.
I am friendly with everyone at work. You don’t know how miraculous this is for me. In high school I didn’t say two words to anybody accept one or two people. Trust yourself. You must have something to offer other people. Just start acting friendly and the rest will fall into place.
Does any of this make sense to you?
Is it possible that you are wrong? I’ll bet that both of us are wrong all the time even though we are sure that we are a 100% right.
Thanks 77nick77, good advice as usual. I’m a bit more optimistic about the future after your post.
Well in many ways being single is much easier. I still am a loner at heart I think. But along the path of life there can be many surprises.
I remember when I couldn’t handle being around people and still avoid them for the most part. Hey with Amazon you never have to go shopping again hurrah! Maybe just food but if you go on a weeknight there are less distractions. 
I think you’re awfulising. Things don’t have to be that drastic, that bad. Personally, I lost the need for a lot of face to face interaction. I can keep myself pretty well entertained alone. Yesterday we went to this “apple festival” from the assisted living center where I live. I ate a four ounce tub of fudge in about thirty minutes. Then I went into sugar shock due to the insulin rebound you get in your body when you consume huge amounts of sugar. I could not stay awake. I sat a table and dozed the last hour and a half we were there. All in all, it wasn’t a bad time, though. It was good to get a change of scenery.
I gotta tell you that introvertion is not the way to go.
Awfullizing? You just coined a phrase
I discovered that word because I used to do it a lot. Now it doesn’t consume so much of my life as it did.
The new word for pessimism.
I like it alot.
Hey crimby ,I hope that you are doing ok.
I’m okay, par for the course. My life is a little dull, but there are worse things.
As you people-watch, though, don’t you see how inane their interactions are? I don’t want to be rude but when I really watch and listen I realize how meaningless people’s interactions are much of the time.
I get the pang of being an outsider sometimes, even after always being one, but when I really understand what it is people are talking about, I don’t feel so bad to be missing it.