Slight sociopathy?

Does this ring a bell with anyone? I want to see if it’s a common thing or not. When I was a kid I never felt guilt until I met one of my voices who taught me about morality. I did all kinds of stuff. I stole, from stores and friends and didn’t really care. I was fairly narcisstic and saw others as beneath me, and actually took joy in manipulating people. One of my favorite things to do was get people in trouble. It felt satisfying for some reason.

I also got strange urges, like whenever I held anything small and weak I wanted to kill it or mess with it. I remember a really pleasant dream I had where I found a bin of small cute animals, and instead of cooing over them like any little girl should I began killing and tormenting all of them. I was sad when I woke up, not because of what I’d done, but because the dream had ended.

Thank goodness I’m not like that anymore. I changed years ago, but I’ve still noticed elements remaining like my constant manipulation and ultimate lack of caring for anyone who isn’t myself or my family, which I try to compensate for by borrowing God’s love for everyone. I would never have gained morals if it wasn’t for my voices either, probably would have stayed apathetic. The only thing that kept me from breaking rules was that I wanted to stay out of trouble and be seen as perfect.

Does anyone else have experiences like this?

You say that you cared about your family. I think sociopaths don’t care about anyone but themselves. Some of your thinking is kind of disturbing, though. You say it’s behind you, which is good.

Nah I’ve done reading on sociopaths and some of them did feel love for their family. It depended on the extent of their sociopathy.

yes people are so diverse a whole plethora on the spectrum. like autism someone can be mildy autistic or at the other end serverely autistic and no two people are the same.