I thought sz was the people walking down the street mumbling to themselves and that you should not talk to them because they could turn violent in a flash and could lash out and hurt you. Then I worked with a sz and found out he was brilliant but he did have an ongoing delusion about aliens having visited the earth. He carried around “proof” in his backpack and if he liked and trusted you he would bring it out and slowly start showing you the “proof” which was just a bunch of random pictures cut out of books and magazines that he had a nonsensical story for.
I used to think being SZ meant you had multiple personalities and wore tin foil hats to prevent aliens from reading your mind.
I was pretty ignorant, but until I got the diagnosis I only knew what I’d seen in tv shows and films.
“They’re here, ignite the tractor beam! Hsss!”
I never knew symptoms could come and go. I thought it was an all or nothing sort of thing.
Me too. I thought that you’d have to think you had powers and were nuts etc… I mean, I did have an ongoing delusion about being a god, but I kept it to myself. Mostly. I did look like a fool when I started talking to trees and sending secret “messages” to animals… ugh. At least I was young enough for it to be an excuse haha.
And my delusions are kind of translucent, and they only happen for brief moments and I wont see them for ages.
Hahaha, I know me too! Deep down I knew I had it, even as a child I knew something was wrong (at least when I wasn’t being delusional), so my denial surfaced as a horrible fear of sz. Much like most of my denial (being trans, being gay etc.). It was just so scary, I didn’t like the idea of being out of control. I never was in control, but I liked to pretend I was. I didn’t want to be crazy or be in a hospital, but then I realized sz is not like that at all and I was able to accept it
I only had one really wierd hallucination but at the time I just thought I was being introduced to a part of society that most people weren’t aware of. Kinda like men in Black. All the other times they were very persicuting and damaging but not bizarre enough for me to admit I was hallucinating. Took years for me to realize my perspective was not everyone else’s.
I used to think that people with schizo were just simply crazy and always ended up institutionalized and Always had daily mental breakdowns, now that I have it I know it’s not true lol
I thought me and the voices were a part of a secret society where I was a “Lower” who was at the bottom and they were “Uppers” who in control at the top and that they could torture me with sleep deprivation and other psychological techniques without anyone outside of that society knowing about it and keep me down. I don’t seem to remember a middle class.
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