I am going to ask my pnurse when I see her on Saturday, but in the meantime…
Is it normal after a euphoric manic episode that lasts several days to not remember a lot of what you did?
I’m used to dysphoric manic episodes where I get highly agitated, but my last few have been very euphoric.
Yeah i think that is pretty normal for mania. I struggle to remember parts of when i was manic. Which is a bit dangerous i guess haha. And yeah dont be fooled by feeling really good while your on the manic euphoric high. Make sure to listen to your mental health peeps.
Yes it’s actually rather common.
I’m glad your doing better now
Thanks for the replies!
Actually I felt so completely out of control, I can’t really say it felt…good. More like being drunk times 100. And I hate being drunk.
I know I completely scared a neighbor I had already alienated during past episodes.
And I was more out of control than I’ve ever been, at my regular grocery store. I know it was not the least bit of paranoia that everyone I crossed paths with - who I engaged with in wild attempts at conversations - was scared of me. Now I am mortified to go back there. I did go back for the first time since crashing again, and several employees stared and snickered at me.
I remember little of what I did but I do remember dumping $100 of groceries into the food drive boxes while buying bread, cheese, and bananas for myself. When the cashier called over several employees to see what I was doing, I stopped, squatted down, and said SSSSHHH! I DON’T WANT TO DO IT LOUD!!!
Oh my goodness. I am usually completely quiet and beyond introverted. And agoraphobic. But it’s a wonder I didn’t walk naked back to my car. Speaking of which, I have forbidden myself from driving again while manic. My husband is holding my keys.
Just to add - I am going to be giving up my driver’s license and switching it over to a regular ID card.
I have had multiple issues with my illness flaring, and I simply will not be responsible for anyone getting hurt. The grocery store is only a mile awa but…yeah.
i have no business driving. I think the DMV would agree. This is something I’ve been considering since July of last year. Already sold my own car then.
I usually think I remember everything but according to others I did not.
When i was having numerous episodes my pdoc wanted me to wear a medical bracelet. But i never did
Actually I am a Medic Alert member for many years. I wear a dogtag style pendant with my name, diagnosis, and 3 emergency contacts.
My long time DID diagnosis is currently in limbo. My pnurse and I are discussing it. The four times I’ve been on effective APs, my DID completely disappears. That’s not supposed to happen. So her question is whether my “DID” has actually been mania that no one else diagnosed until she did in March 2022.
Hopefully I need to update that pendant again! 
I just got a phone call from Robert Half, an accounting recruiter I last sent my resume to in 2013. WTF?
I told her I’m on disability and she apologized and ended the call.
Why now, when my sza has never been worse and I’ve been beating myself up for being like this, and so hopeless from ever working again (been on disability since January 2015).
Now I feel even worse about myself and hopeless because I know damn well that even once I’m better and at baseline again, I will still be riding in car back seats instead of up front, and scared to venture past Food Lion a mile away from my house… 
I appreciate you and Aziz.
Because I have mania too.
Talking leads to more talking I think.
If I say anything than it feels like there are permutations that I then need to address?
Copied from the Say Anything thread
Its 3:20 am (Thursday morning)
This is my second stint up with severe paranoia. And I didnt fall asleep til almost midnight.
I guess someone has to represent the lowest functioning tier on the forum…
I just saw my pnurse on Tuesday and I see her again on Saturday. We’re both planning another med increase. Just went up again on Tuesday, but my body is nowhere near ready for another bump yet. That will be 160 mg Geodon when it happens on Saturday.
She told me on Tuesday that I need to commit to weekly sessions permanently if I want her to continue to see me. She didn’t mean it in a mean or money chasing way at all. But she’s been seeing me close to two years, often weekly but not always. She says I can’t go longer than weekly visits. She’s right.
Thank goodness for Zoom and Cadillac insurance. They must hate me. I only have a $40 copay, but that can really add up over time.
Copied from the Say Anything thread - from Thursday morning
I am a mess again. Meds don’t go up again til Saturday. Have been considering clozapine but have already brought it up and my pnurse said I am not a candidate. Plus it’s on my Genesight red do not use list.
Only posting here right now to apologize for being very symptomatic on this thread again. Off limits for that now, will use the diagnosed forum for that from now on.
I think i avoid that cause I don’t like to feel like I need it rather than this lighthearted thread. But I really belong in unusual beliefs…
No need to comment. Just had to put this out there…
Is it possible for a mod to change the thread title to Shmookitty’s Thread?
I keep invading the lighthearted Say Anything thread and am trying to have a place outside of there to post these kinds of things, even if I’m the only one who reads them. I need to put them somewhere here so I feel less alone.
@Voithos
@Ninjastar
@Jonathan2
@Moonbeam
Thanks…
It’s ok; and it’s going to be ok.
Done! 1515151515
My Geodon kicked in the best so far since starting 8/29. 
Once I bump up to 160 mg on Saturday, maybe it will kick in AND last the full 12 hours as well. Right now at 120 it only lasts about 7 before the meltdown starts again.
hoping
Today isn’t tomorrow. Get through today first before stressing yourself out about tomorrow. 
Also, you’re pretty darned amazing so don’t count yourself out just yet.
If things can get worse. They can also get better. Keep your chin up and keep on going
Thank you so much! You are wonderful. 
And inspiring with what you achieve.
And also, go ahead and laugh if ya want, but I told my husband how much you always make me laugh and lift my spirits, so it makes me happy you both have devoted ladies in your lives so you can be as happily married as I am. 