We talked about having self esteem today. I said two things I had low self esteem over are not keeping up with my housekeeping and not sticking to my diet. I’m trying to do something about these issues so I can feel good about myself.
I just started reading a book on self esteem it’s called the pillars of self esteem it looks good. I’ve only read part of the introduction so far. But I think it’s safe to say that I recommend it
I made some progress cleaning yesterday. I’m supposed to feel better, but it doesn’t seem like what I did is good enough. I guess these are issues left over from my childhood. No matter what I accomplish it’s never good enough.
I have to renew my self worth every day by doing my guitar and mandolin. It’s just the system I have, I know it’s not really necessary but it keeps me going. Reading is good because it’s been almost impossible at times and helps me feel I exist. Writing. Walking. I need to walk and clean the most and I hardly ever do, I guess I am a rebel.
My skin is horrible. I have eczema rashes on my hands, my arms, my neck, and even my face!!
In addition to that, I have terrible, severe acne all over my face, with some on my back and chest. It’s so embarrassing. I try to wear makeup, most of the time, as that makes me look more presentable.
But without makeup, you can see how red my face is, all of the acne scars… The makeup helps cover up the acne and scarring, but you can still see the eczema rashes, as my skin is all flaky, making some spots on my face look really awful. The makeup is just coming off of those spots, flaking off, because of the eczema.
I have horrible self esteem about my skin. I wish I had pretty, flawless, glowing skin.