I don’t know if this is my OCD about schizophrenia or if it’s actual psychosis. I’ve had OCD about schizophrenia for a few months now, but it’s been getting more severe. Basically, I’ve been really hyperaware of sudden noises and have to record them to make sure they’re real.
When I was trying to fall asleep last night, there was a voice (that wasn’t mine) in the back of my head that didn’t really sound like mine, I knew it was in my head and it would repeat random stuff like “hello hello hello hello hello” etc. I could control the phrase to an extent once I knew about it, but if I wasn’t focusing on it it would say something else. I tried box breathing (counting to five and inhaling then exhaling, etc) to calm myself but the thoughts would interrupt me and distract me. It’s like…I basically was in control of what the thoughts were saying and knew what they were going to say, but I couldn’t stop them for some reason.
My fan was on and I think the voice was partly manifested by that, so I put earplugs in, and for the most part it went away (I do have tinnitus though and I’ve heard that tinnitus can make it sound like you’re hearing voices?). Also, my mind seems to repeat sounds when I’m trying to sleep. I heard a police siren from outside and my mind repeated it for a few seconds after it was gone. Obviously the more I thought about the “voices”, the more I would “hear” it. This was really distressing and I’ve been doing ERP for my OCD for a week now but I didn’t feel comfortable doing it with this. Also, I only heard the “voices” when I would close my eyes. Has anyone gone through this before? I did have alcohol a few hours before and the last time this happened I had alcohol as well. I’m not sure if it was a hypnogogic hallucination because I felt awake, just closing my eyes?