Hey everyone, I'm new to these forums (this is actually the first forum I've ever registered for) and have a question for you guys/girls. I'm 26 and was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at 23. Since then I've had to drop out of school, move back in with my family, be hospitalized a great number of times, and go on Social Security Disability. The good news is that about a month ago, I finally was prescribed a kit of medicine that seems to work for me; wow, does that feel great to be able to say that!
Well, I'd like to--perhaps--reconnect with some of my old friends--but, mostly, I'd like to meet some new people, and, ultimately, develop a full social life, again. I have a small problem, however: when I do see my old friends, I am often asked what I've been up to, or what I do; and, though they don't ask, I'm sure my old friends wonder why I didn't complete my senior year of college. At this point, I definitely don't want to reveal to anyone that I have been sick for the past three years, and am beginning to recover, that I currently don't work, that I have no friends at the moment, etc...
I signed up for a book club at my local library, and have my first meeting tomorrow. Though we will surely talk about the book of the week during the meeting, what about when people introduce themselves to me, before/after the meeting (hell, I'm the outgoing type: *I'm* the one that would approach someone to introduce myself)? What about when the group leader asks if I'd like to share a few words about myself ("Hey, I'm blur, I like to play with my dog, read, and listen to music" [heck, that doesn't sound as bad as I thought it would, maybe I'm overthinking this...]).
What about when I meet girls? I've managed to pull some "flings" or "friends with benefits" and even true girlfriends during the time I was sick, but was pretty much forced to explain to all three that I have schizophrenia at the very beginning of the relationship...I don't want to have to do this, anymore! What can I say about myself to women I meet?
Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. Maybe it's wrong to think about concealing such a big part of myself to women. Maybe I'm asking for too much too soon, or expecting too much. The road to recovery, from what I understand and would imagine, isn't a short one. I don't want this post to turn into a discussion about whether one should reveal their diagnoses to people: this is about meeting new people and possibly reconnecting with old friends, and in both of these instances I believe it inappropriate to talk about schizophrenia. One day, maybe, I'd like to be an active advocate for schizophrenia. It just changes people's perception of you, permanently.
I'll end this, here. Any comments/advice would be appreciated, thank you.
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Stigma and misunderstanding. Almost as bad as the illness.
In a better world you could tell them what was up and theyād be like omg are you okay what was it like Iām so glad your fighting this be strong
In this world though.
āYou were always kind of out thereā
Thatās what a friend said to me.
Any case good luck.
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Ya, itās BS. Never seen a āschizophrenia awarenessā ribbon on the back of a car, never got a card from any of my relatives that know, was only visited by one family member when I went to the hospital (he almost always visited me thoughāgot so tired of being in those hospitals/crisis centers that I really didnāt want him to come anymore, ha), no ā5kās for the cureā, stigmatized in many parts of the media, I could go onā¦
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Yeah man. Itās totally unfair. Disposition for the illness and a world that doesnāt care once it manifests.
You seem like a rational person though. Welcome to the board.
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Thank you for the welcome, Solt
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Where ya from? No need for specifics.
Yeah welcome blur. I identify with your story - hate being questioned about what I do.
Welcome to the forums!
I guess if you are looking to explain the three year gap, just say that you took a sort of health-related sabbatical in order to focus on recovery. If pressed for details share that it was very unpleasant and you need to put it some distance into your past before you are ready to talk about it.
Nothing dishonest and nothing for them to latch on to that will create stigma. Most will understand and back off. Anyone who doesnāt has just given you a good clue you donāt need them around.
Congrats on your recovery to date. Awesome.
10-96
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i was so way out in my first psychosis in 2000, i thought i was getting admitted to a general hospital, NOT a psycharitic one
SW Florida! Lived here almost all my life. Spent a few years in Tallahassee attending Florida State University. Live with my parents and younger sister, who all have been very supportive; Iām fortunate in that way. Where ya from, Solt?
@jimbob Ya I know, right? Itās like, āwell, when Iām not in the local crisis centers, being tranquilized with the other sick people, Iām at home, reading the bible obsessively and talking to angels and Jesus Christā, lol so dark, I know. Canāt believe Iām actually beginning to walk away from that dark, insane hole. But anyway, Iām in my right mind, now. Of course stress still brings back that delusional mindset, but it gets a little better everyday. Iād also like to say to everyone thatās replied that it feels so good to talk about this with people who have the disease, and are actually able to articulate what they experience/have experienced! And thank you for not burning, or flaming me, or whatever. I used to lurk video game forums when I was younger and often saw people that were new get burnt when they came with a question.
@shutterbug that makes good sense, a sabbatical, had a medical issue. If asked any questions, Itās still a little too close in the rear view mirror for me to be able to comfortably talk about. Not concealing anything, honest. This is a good route.
And, thank you, pixel, Iām hoping to stay healthy, and believe I will, but am realistic in the sense that i wonāt get down if I do get hospitalized again. If I make it six months without going into the hospital/crisis centers, it would be a real victory, for me 
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@san_pedro oh manā¦my first visit to the crisis center lasted three weeks. Didnāt know wtf was going on, at all. Now that I think about it, nearly every time I was ābaker actedā (where you get taken to the hospital and then the crisis center, forcibly), I didnāt know what the hell was going on.
Kansas. Pretty much the same story. Fallen away from all my friends aside from the ones who live in town. Family has been really supportive.
i know how you feel. i took a year out of uni cos i was in hospital and recovering, but when i started again and get asked why i took a year off, id just say i was on a gap yearā¦needed some time out of education etcā¦ same with old school friends as well, met up with best mate from school for a few drinks, he has a decent job and when he asked me what i was up to i just said uni and working shitty jobs.
You put up your words in an organized manner which makes it easy for us to interpret it and sumpathize with you as one fellow patient who is fighting the illness. In my opinion it is not essential to talk about the gap you have endured with anyone especially if you feel uncomfortable about it. Because most people endure hard times, I, for example had a 4 years gap where I returned to the family house but my excuse was always that Iām taking care of my parents. As long as you are willing to build on with your life and proceed nothing else matters especially related to the past. It is over and you are managing to survive inspite of it. I really recommend you find a working opportunity, something minor to start with as you caught my eye with your well managed speech. I think you will do fine at work with the right meds. Good luck and welcome to the forum.
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As for an alibi, I usually say I dropped out of school and went back home to get myself together. Being vague or not saying anything at all works for most people.
At your age it may not seem like it, but in the scheme of your life 3.years is nothing. Once people are out of high school and college they get so consumed with their own lives they only care about details of your life that you offer them. And they probably wonāt even remember them if they are something vague.
After a layoff I had a councillor say you want to use the āspeed bumpā metaphor. Blah blah blah, dropped out of school to get myself together, blah blah, Iām a rock star ninja with X-ray eyes now.
Eventually in intimate relationships, thereās going to be a time when you have to have āthe talkā, i think itās irresponsible not to tell if things are approaching a degree of seriousness, or if you are in danger of having a relapse. Take care.
Welcome to the forum, glad to have you. There are many wise people here with recovery stories and coping tricks that can really help you out if you are willing to listen. I sure wish I had a resource like this when I was your age.
Recently I told a retired judge that I took time off school for an illness and she gave me her card. I think most intelligent people will be understanding, those whoāve endured discrimination will. I hope you have a good experience here.
@sparso I canāt work right now. Firstly, It hasnāt even been a month since Iāve gotten out of the crisis center. I donāt want to start a job and then have to be gone for a week because I get hospitalized again. Iāve been baker acted 15 times in the bast three years. Itās ridiculous.
Also, Iām on disability; if social security sees that Iām working they will cut off my disability money. And say I have to miss a week because I get hospitalized again, which is probably what will happen, realistically. I say that Iām doing good but thatās what I always say. And once you lose your ssdi I heard itās difficult to get back.
I want to go back to school. I have 89 credit hours, and I need 120 to graduate with a double major. I want a career, you know? If Iām stable for a year Iāll consider getting a job while I go back to school. I understand that working is a part of the recovery process.
And, thank you for saying my speech is well managed, Sparso, I appreciate it.
@maggotbrane I smiled at the rockstar ninja thing, haha. Thanks for welcoming me! Ya, I should be thankful that it was only three years, I guess. Itās been such a struggle, not just for me, but for my family, that itās hard to be grateful for very much of anything right now. I have this anger or frustration or hatred or something in my heart or soul or whatever you want to call it. I think about the people I knew and how theyāre making good money in a good career. Or theyāre going into law school. Or, whatever. I feel cheated, still; I got Fād. Anywayā¦
This website and forum are (pretend that āareā is italicized, itās not working for me for some reason) great resources. The forum also serves as an outlet for me, like it did, above. Itās great to see people talking about stuff I can relate to so well. And, I think Iāll be able to help others, here, as well.
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Went to the book discussion/club yesterday. Very glad I did, but it was pretty tough. Kept having these delusions that the women (the meeting was made up of five other women, including the instructor) there were sending me messages in my head and could read my mind, and vice versa. It was just nerve-racking. I always feel bad for the people around me when I get like that because I think that they feel my energy and it scares them. I think that actually may have some real truth to it. You can feel peopleās energy, ya know? Anyone else think this is true to an extent?
I did have moments of clarity, though, and tried to focus on what they were saying about the book. I was an English major so book analysis/discussion is one of my strong suits. It was refreshing to use my intellect, again, itās been a while. They made interesting points, and my ideas, also, received a warm reception.
The women were all very welcoming. A few said they were happy I was there, after class. It was a great success, now that I think about it. I took it very very easy after I got home, though, to recover.
There was no direct questions regarding what I do. A couple of them did ask if I just moved there, and when I replied,ānoā, they kind of cut me off so that I didnāt have to explain myself. At least I think thatās what they were doing. I often think something is going on that turns out to be completely false, though, especially when Iām delusional. But, like I said, Iām glad I went.
Thanks for welcoming me, everyone; itās very much appreciated . If I do get questions about what I do, what I have been up to, I think Iāll probably take what @shutterbug advised: a sabbatical due to health reasons that Iām not ready to talk about yet. I thank you all for your advice: thanks so much!
Finally, I decided to quit smoking yesterday, so if I seem kind of irritated itās because I am, lol. Itās worth it, though