I see pdoc tomorrow and I’m so relieved! I hope they don’t make me go inpatient though, as I’m struggling so much right now with intrusive thoughts of homicidal nature and trying to harm myself to quell evil spirit. No blood but just scratched. I can’t stop thinking of knives… I’m so scared. If I tell the pdoc about it. I don’t want to go inpatient but it will be safe place, but if my meds higher dose will work immediately, I can avoid hospital I hope. I hope I hope I hope Alien stops with his ■■■■…I’m weakening… Why why why? 
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Please tell the dr everything you’re thinking. Inpatient might be what you need
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Hold on, @Hadeda Better times will be coming.
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Hope they fix your meds soon.
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I’ve been in that place before too. I really hope your appointment goes well and you get the respite you need 
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