Scared of taking meds, advice/share story please

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I’m new here and new to anti psychotics.

I took Seraquel for 2 weeks recently and it was so horrible I had to stop, my doc knows.

I want to do the right thing for my future and the people and things I love, like my dog, and I know early medication helps long term outcomes. I guess I am “high functioning” now but I don’t want to pretend I’m impervious to decline. I’ve been denying my psychotic state and the sleep deprivation is starting to get to me. Doc suspects bipolar 1 as of now

I developed a phobia of any pills now, even otc stuff, after the Seraquel side effects and AP in general scare the sh*t out of me. Have you had similar experiences? How did you cope and what messages of hope or encouragement might you have? I’d love to hear, thanks so much.

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Take the pills or youll get the needle. They wont give you a choice if it gets real bad. Thats what happened to me anyways.

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They’re going to suck, you’re going to deal with stupid shitty side effects and only know if they help by very subtle cues that are hard to notice so it helps if you still have someone who knows what “normal” meant for you.

Take them, cycle through them and muscle through. Watch out for weight gain. Look out for Akathesia and find an emergency access to psychiatric doctors so that you can get treated for Akathesia if it happens. There are sources, if you don’t have one make your doctor find you one before starting you on it. Akathesia is torture. I’m not kidding.

Aside from akathesia I haven’t had much trouble, if a drug is giving me problems earlier the better. If the dose is wrong for you, (start light and work up as needed with the best drug so far) judge what you’re willing to put up with, have some optimism and once you’ve exhausted your options go for the best you’ve got so far.

Took me 2 years struggling searching for the drug for me, it takes time to work into you, and then it takes time for you to be fully aware of what the drug is or isn’t handling and what baggage comes with it. With near 100%…whats the word? drug usage? Don’t skip doses. You might be fine on a drug, but miss a dose and it will ■■■■ you up.

I forgot a dose one day and it literally ruined the next day for me and I felt awful until I got the medicine back in me.

Just keep doing it. Don’t give up, theres a drug that will probably work alright for you.

If compliance is a problem for you, you’re gonna want to look into injections, try it, in my experience it totally blows and the lower but frequent pill once a day every day was better.

If you want freedom I don’t have a solution, I tried vacationing to my dads in another state and my insurance and medicare and medicad was a nightmare, the U.S. isn’t good at this, and it totally blows, I don’t know from experience if taking an injection is easier to get coverage for out of state by a hospital or not.

If you have to rely on the government for insurance (which you probably will because this illness starts just as you’re about ready to get into building your career) you’re going to need to thoroughly plan your move, the pill count for when you need a resupply, and contacting all the civil services in each state is different and social security, medicare, all these things, are like islands you have to contact each one individually and in a certain order. I had to cut access to one in my state and pray that in short order I could gain access in another state, and I didn’t know what I would need to re-apply for it, before I’d already quit.

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My words of encouragement are that once you find the right meds it is LIFE CHANGING. I went from living in a nightmarish hell to having an actual life and the ability to be happy and live like a normal person. Yes it took me a few years of having craptastic med experiences while we experimented with finding what meds worked best for me. But eventually I found meds that worked awesome for me and gave me NO side effects at all. It was absolutely positively worth it. Trust me i was in your place so many times after some of the experiences I had I would swear off meds and say I would just get by without them but the suffering was too much to bear. I am so glad i continued with my search for good meds. So so glad.

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There’s a LOT of options when it comes to an AP. I tried a lot and seroquel didn’t work out for me either.

I’m on abilify now and that works to keep me stable.

It’s personal trial and error when it comes to finding the right AP for yourself.

If seroquel didn’t work out that’s ok. On to the next one…

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im on seroquel 800mg and olanzapine 20mg and am doing fine…i know meds have side affects but i prefer to keep positive symptoms at bay

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My word is a word of caution. Psychosis causes measurable,physical brain damage. On my MRI when I first became psychotic, it showed grey matter loss greater than average for my age. Since being on meds, my brain has not shrunk anymore. This is a common effect of psychosis. It literally shrinks your brain.

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I think on one hand you have to understand that if you don’t want to have delusional thoughts or hallucinations - you need to take medicine, and that medicine will have side effects.
If you don’t take the medicine you’ll probably eventually relapse and you’ll find living much more difficult.

From personal experience - seroquel can be very sedating and made me feel like a zombie at times. If its possible perhaps ask for a different drug. But just bare in mind that all antipsychotics will have some sedating effects, and possibly other side effects too. Try and weigh up in your mind which would you rather - to suffer from psychosis again - or to have some annoying side effects. I know which I would chose - the one where I have more control and awareness.

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I get over the sedation effect by taking pills close to bed time, but that has altered my eating schedule so theres some go arounds if you want to try to work with the meds.

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me2… i feel so scard to start , i feared everytime trying to put the pills into my mouth, it is a struggle for me everytime, so i was yet to start taking them…over worried, maybe it is delusion

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Are you currently on meds, schizophrenick?

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no… not yet…

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How long have you been without meds and without symptoms? What’s your diagnosis and what symptoms did lead to your diagnosis,

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I don’t have a diagnosis yet, I had first episode psychosis after a marijuana concentrate binge. I took Seroquel for two weeks and experienced hyperglycemia, clenched jaw and sore teeth, mask face, abnormal nose bleed.

Also I was denied admittance they said I was too self aware.

Aziz is there a way to contact you later and ask questions?

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There are so many other AP’s to choose from.
Don’t give up!

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I guess I’m “high functioning” as well but the little things creep in. When you hear people talking that aren’t there but they’re real to you so you don’t notice. When you believe something but it’s not true. All these things are hard to realize alone. Meds do help keep life clearly defined.

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