Donāt worry Monte. I donāt find it annoying. Matter of fact, someone I know graduated from a state university in his mid thirties, years after switching his major several times. My point is, if you continue to aspire to set a goal and diligently work at it, then achieving your goal is not impossible. Heck at least you try! Even if you just go to learn something new, you are improving yourself. I think it is a good idea to study something you are passionate about.
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Thanks my dude!
Yeah, a pilot I knew in the AF once told me: āDo what you love; And the money will follow.ā
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US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Canadian Newfoundland (CND) reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA. WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
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Pdoc appointment went really well. Kind of glad I had the last appointment of the day because we talked for like 45 minutes instead of just 10-15 that I was scheduled for. He wants me to see the therapist more often to hopefully figure out some of the issues that are behind the eating disorder. He also wants to do some more digging with my symptoms because heās not sure if my symptoms are from severe PTSD or a combination of PTSD and schizophrenia. Heās never been confident in my sz diagnosis because I present so well. And I guess I donāt really know either. So Iāll be curious what he ultimately decides. Also kind of terrified because what if itās just PTSD and I lose my SSDI because I do present so well and my new doctor when we move thinks Iām fine and takes me off my meds or something. Whatever, not thinking about that.
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@Montezuma for a graphic novel, I highly recommend Wolverine WeaponX. Itās sometimes termed in horror because it sort of is.
Example: Wolverine went through the excruciating pain of having metal implanted in his skeleton. āThe Professorā has a telepathic headgear attached to him with microphone and speakers to degrade his mind. āYou are an animal!ā he says.
Suddenly a skeleton with protruding spikes appears on the screen, pointing a bony finger. Loganās inner voice is to loud and angry for them to stand. You! Pain To Me!" They cover their ears.
So yeah less superhero more horror.
Hope I didnāt flip anyone out.
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Having a lot of feels tonight. Getting pretty down. Trying to have a conversation with my partner and realizing how ā ā ā ā ā ā up I am and how much trouble Iāve been.
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Iām sorry youāre feeling down.
Iām sure your partner doesnāt think youāre ā ā ā ā ā ā up or trouble.
You take care of Little LED all day, cook and clean.
You need to focus on the good things you are doing instead of things you cannot control.
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Yeah. I donāt know. The more I think about my pdoc appointment the more it bothers me. I just donāt know. And I was talking to my partner about it, if itās sz or just ptsd, and they started listing off all these things that I donāt really even remember. All these times I was completely psychotic and had no idea what was real or not and how scared they were for me when I would disappear and they wouldnāt know if I was even alive or not. I donāt know.
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Itās starting to get late in our time zone.
Maybe you can take a relaxing bath and try to get some sleep.
Just turn these thoughts off for today and allow yourself some rest.
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I wish. I have to go pick my sister up from the airport at 11.
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Geez,
That sucks.
Iām sorry.
Maybe try to keep distracted until then,
You need to give your brain a rest from these thoughts.
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Yeah. I probably should. But Iām already in so deep that I donāt know if I can get out. Like, what if my pdoc puts in my notes that I probably donāt have sz. Then when I move next year and those notes are sent to the next doctor and they read them and meet me while Iām doing well on these meds and they decided that my doctor was probably right, that I donāt have sz, and then they take me off my meds or think thereās no reason for me to be on disability still or whatever. It could completely change my life. And not in a good way.
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I think youāre getting way ahead of yourself.
Even if your diagnosis changes, youāre still disabled.
And I donāt think any doctor would take you off meds if youāre not stable without them.
Maybe you should journal these thoughts on paper, put the paper away and try to leave your thoughts with it.
I used to do that all the time and it helps.
Well, I burned the paper, but I donāt recommend that.
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I mean, I was diagnosed with psychotic depression in 04, by 09 I was finally mostly stable on the meds, and in 12 my doctor decided that I was fine and didnāt need the meds anymore and took me off of them. Then I promptly lost my ā ā ā ā ā ā ā mind and never found it. So, it definitely feels like a real possibility.
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All you have to do is tell them youāve tried going off medication and it didnāt work out.
If they see your records,
Theyāll know you need to be on meds.
I donāt think youāre at risk of getting put off medication.
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I donāt know. I hope youāre right. Itās a truly scary thought. I think Iām going to have my partner come with me to my next appointment to give another view of my symptoms so maybe the pdoc can get a better picture than Iām able to give. Iām just really confused by all this and itās scaring me not knowing whatās going to happen.
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It is really scary,
But that doesnāt mean the worst is going to happen.
I think taking your partner in to see the doctor with you is a great idea,
Gives a lot more prospective.
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Just finished Joker with Kiefer. Hubby wasnāt into it so he played on the Switch, but I cried for Joker. Iām gonna buy it when Redbox sells it for 9.99 really hit home, and Kiefer liked it too.
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Iām happy you liked it!
I thought it was a great film.
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