started off the day agitated, I clued in when I woke up at 10 and I was very annoyed that I didnt get up at 7am. I dont even like waking up early lol. Then I was just annoyed at everything and feeling adrenaline through my whole body for the morning. Just hearing anyone talking or moving erks me.
agitated episodes are very unpredictable. Im trying to get better at recognizing it so I know when to take an extra dose of med in the morning or at night. That seems to do the trick.
but since I missed it I will wait till 5 or 6 pm at dinner to take the extra.
I just have images of some creature raging in my head. I guess thats my brains metaphor for the way the body is feeling. but alteast no voices.
cleaning up a bunch of stuff at the house today and putting the energy to good use. Or I might go for a 10k walk
Our power was out again for an hour but just recently came back on. We are burning wood but we still need a furnace in this old house. Cold as ever outside. Gave the municipal power plant a call and they said a transformer blew.
Gonna see if my car starts. We’ll see. It was -30°F last night without the wind chill. After tonight it’s supposed to warm up this week.
i think this year since im going back to work my goal is to do some karting this summer. I loved doing it. I will just rent and do some arrive and drive races or something. nice goal to work towards for fun.
Gonna bake my first clay pipe tonight after the oven is clear. Should go well.
I’d like to think I am smart but it took me two weeks to come up with the idea of how to maintain the hole in the stem of a clay pipe. Old metal coat hanger was the answer. And no I didn’t come up with it on my own. Google did it for me.
@ThePickinSkunk have you ever put bullion cubes in your rice? @Montezuma i think also eats a lot of rice.
Anyway I put two bullion cubes in my rice and just let the water cook out. Yummy yummy. I made it to eat with my chili but it’s good by itself
I had a good day at work, but it was awful driving home in a snowstorm that had just hit the area. They’re talking 8 inches (20 cm) overnight, in addition to the inch or two we’ve already gotten. I just hope the country roads are plowed by the time I need to leave for work. Hopefully they get plowed throughout the night.
If I ever make some money or come into money, I will try and get my bs in engineering. work is nice despite the paranoia of it. Feel like I couldn’t get the right job or a job at all. That’s why I want to invent stuff and be an entrepreneur. It’s easier with software than with hardware. I enjoy working with my hands and getting out of my head. Abstraction is hard sometimes with schizophrenia.
The problem is focus and mainitaining that focus over months and getting a degree or getting a course done. I also give up a lot when it gets tough or even too easy. I really slid. Maybe more brain damage? It’s gotta be the monsters because that’s all I do. Meds work but delusional thinking persists.
Fantasies of alternative realities are too hard to ignore sometimes. They feel real. Like “Oh ya, I was a doctor or engineer in a past life…” stuff like that.
Makes me think I can do the unachievable. Makes me feel more important or special when really I’m your garden variety schizophrenic.
