Thank you, Ifeelblessed…
forgive me if I already answered this…I’m not sure where I left off earlier.
You offer good advice.
I’m sorry for your loss, it’s never easy losing someone you love, and time may heal your sorrow, but for today it hurts like hell. A Big squeezy ((((HUG)))) for you.
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this is so true. And big squeezy hugs are just what the doctor ordered. And now I’m in the hospital myself…an Infection that is refusing to heal and critically low electrolyte levels. Not too many hugs to be found here. It seems too that my tears have all dried up…many of them going uncried.
A Spare "Big Squeezy (((((HUG))))) for you ~>PRN.
…and some tissues too.
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Now TISSUES…THAT I really could use!
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My condolences @locamotion 
take care of yourself.
May she rest in peace.
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Im very sorry. Hope you will find the inner strength you need at this time
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I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I wouldn’t know what it’s like but I hope you get to feeling better soon. so sad.
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thank you Sarad. I know she is in the abode of God right now…she had a good relationship with him and had entrusted her life into his hands. That is such a deep comfort to me. I know in Heaven I will see her again, whole and without pain.
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yes Mouseymoo…now that I’m in the hospital I am more removed from the grief situation. And except for the fact that I have the same room I was in last March here…and she visited me and sat right in the chair I see in front of me. I would give anything for her to walk in and sit in that chair once again.
thank you for your kind words also
hi Jukebox…It’s natural I suppose , for a “child” to eventually lose their parents but other than a spouse (and in cases like mine, MORE than for a spouse) there is no deeper pain in the world. Thank you for hoping in feel better soon. I hope I do also, thanks
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Im sincerely sorry and sadend for your loss. I wish i could say something poignant but im at a loss. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.
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hi Reggie,
Sometimes sitting in silence that has no words, is more poignant than the wisest speech. Thank you for sharing my grief just by “being here”
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I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It is the most horrible thing in the world. I lost my dad almost ten years ago, and it was like my world was absolutely shattered. I kept having nightmares where he died, and I would wake up and think, “Oh, it was only a dream…no it wasn’t!” And then it would hit me all over again. I would sometimes have hallucinations where I found him and we would talk about life just like we used to, and then he would disappear and I would remember he was never there…it was awful.
People say it gets better, and that’s sort of true. You get used to walking around with a giant hole in your chest, and you don’t notice the pain as much. Then something will happen out of nowhere, and it will make you remember again. Sometimes that means more pain, and sometimes it means you will smile at the memories. I smile a lot more than I cry now. It took years to get to that point. But everyone has started to move forward with their lives now, even my mom.
Take all the time you need to work through this. Pretending you’re fine won’t help anything. Cry and be angry and let yourself feel the full spectrum of emotions. I honestly believe the only reason my family is okay now is because we took so much time to not be okay. Try to be there for your dad, too. He is feeling everything you’re feeling and more. Be patient with each other as you both learn to heal. You guys are part of a team. Join a grief support group if you’re up to it. If you want to talk more, I am always up for a PM or something. Sometimes I need to talk about it too.
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hi ninja
Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this with me. I know exactly the kind of thing you mean. I keep looking for my mom…do you believe I looked at the family portrait we shot of all the family who had gathered for the funeral…and for a few seconds I searched the photo for my mom!! I wondered why she wasn’t in the picture! My dad was throwing out her medications and I almost said to him, “Don’t do that!!! she’ll need them when she gets home.!” She was in and out of the hospital and out of rehab hospital (for physical therapy) so it was normal to have her gone for a while and then to expect her back…Every time it happens, I feel that “hole in the chest” you describe…or for me, if feels like someone punched me hard in the stomach.
This is hard. But I thank God my dad is ok…HE is the one whose death I will never recover from. He is my super hero and my best friend.
They opened the casket for family to see her and say goodbye. Fortunately we had had her makeup and hair done…she looked just like she was peacefully asleep. I wanted to shake her and wake her up. As I walked away I said to her “I will see you soon”. I know she is in heaven and I know I will be too…hopefully sooner rather than later. My health is poor so this is not an unreasonable hope.
Anyway…Ninja you can PM me too if you want. I’m not sure on this site how to go about sending and receiving PMs. God bless.
Cynthia
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I’m so sorry for your lost. My condolences. I’m glad you have your dad still with you for your support 
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yes, my dad and I have been leaning a lot on each other. thank you for your condolences.
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