Like I wrote in the ‘Say anything’ thread, I’m feeling sad right now.
My best friend, one of my favourite people on the entire planet, is terminal with cancer. He has a year, maybe less.
He wants me to show emotions about the whole ting to see that I can cope with it in a healthy way, but I can’t when he’s around. I just feel numb and get overwhelmed with a feeling of “what’s the point?”
But now, now that I’m alone for once… I feel incredibly sad. I can’t cry about it. I haven’t had a good cry in many many months, I rarely ever cry.
I want to cry so badly, but I can’t.
I wish I had someone to talk to, but the people I usually lean on are busy, and the only other person I trust enough to talk to about this isn’t someone he likes very much, so it wouldn’t feel right telling that friend about the cancer.
I feel like curling into a ball and screaming out loud, but what good would it do?
I’m even considering listening to a triggering song I haven’t heard in ten years, hoping it will trigger so many negative emotions in me that I break down and cry.
I feel desperate for relief, and part of me just wants to disappear.
…I don’t know where I was going with this.
Thank you for listening, whoever read this.
What a terrible situation. I’m no expert on coaxing out emotions, unfortunately, so I can’t advise on that matter. But offering lots of hugs. I’m so sorry for what you and your friend are going through.
If you ever need to vent you can always vent to me. I’m so sorry that your friend and you are going through this. Just try to enjoy the time you have left (hugs)
(((hugs))) I know what you mean about needing a good cry. I wonder why the tears won’t come. It sounds weird but I hope you can cry soon little one. I’m sending much love your way.
But offering lots of hugs. 
I’m so sorry for what you and your friend are going through.
