Remission has pros and cons. I miss my heart

Health and Recovery
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I feel like am not using heart anymore since my schizophrenia is in remission. Does it mean I can handle more information and be more responsive to stimuli using my brain?
How good it is I am able to become independent as a person in whole at last.

But the brain logic is tend to become faulty and I also suffer from apathy.
I just hope I will not make big mistake giving silly comments in fellow members’ threads.
And yes, before I forget, my life can be summarized as schizophrenia. I had no more normal life after 15 years old. The good brain was long gone.
Relapse is the biggest enemy, I hope I will not stop taking medication myself and experience relapse again. I had actually ran away from home a few times during relapse.

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An assessment done by social security organization proves that my schizophrenia illness is getting better and able to work.

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I think this is a good news,10% of schizophrenic ended their live by suicide,and you had survive and are able to get back to work,so first of all congratulations,it’s the first step to a better life

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Thank you very much, Mobc1990. You can do it too, in fact I do not think you are sick. You gave me the impression more on mood swing(especially bad mood), shyness, unhappiness, and lack of motivation.

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Lol,hehe,thanks,and merry Christmas

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Just ask yourself this question:

“Did your heart ever get you anywhere? Really?”

I know recovery is bitter. (Hollow feeling/Empty feeling.)

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Doesn’t heart make what you do meaningful?

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When I entered the status of “significantly improved”, I was rather empty feeling. The trauma of psychosis is considerable. I woke up to reality and chose to study psychology and get a Ph.D., now I am a junior in the honors psych program at my school, and I havent made a B on my transcript since I chose my dream. I did feel empty. I had to rebuild a social life. I had to rebuild a healthy lifestyle. I got sexually active and went too far with it, I had sex with seven people in a year.

I’m a 21 year old man and had never even kissed until November of 2013. I was starving.

I have oral herpes now, I don’t know how I got it, I have drank after people and eaten after people, kissed a whole lot of people and had sex with seven people. My physician acted like it wasnt from sex, that’s what he said. Just don’t be stupid like I was. I might be a straight A student and have a scholarship and go to school for free but I was really stupid.

I experienced the same apathy to a lesser degree when I became lucid. I just realized that it had all been in my head, I actually sat and cried about it, which is odd, because I have some personality traits which make me hardly ever cry, and usually just like two tears will come out, but that one time, I cried, like seriously cried, it was just like waking up from the worst nightmare, only it was worse? It’s impossible to find a good analogy for schizophrenia.

I would set goals, meet new people, try new things, take care of yourself, and find a dream that is worth your time. My dreams are lofty to most people, but I am actually quite bright and have the potential to become a clinical psychologist- my performance in school just proves that to be true. I sometimes do not like being expected to become a renowned expert on schizophrenia, but I just swallow it and hold on to it, my dream is serious and it will effect other people’s lives. At the very least I will get a master’s in counseling, that is my fallback plan to clinical programs. My way is already set, I do enjoy being myself, I have a rare hand of cards dealt to me. I will be a mental health professional, without a doubt. I have performed during episodes and nothing can stop me, I have even made myself psychotic on purpose to prove to myself that nothing will stop me.

You’ve got to embrace reality.

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I’ve thought that before, but I think my heart is more open when it’s not clouded by psychosis/mania, disturbing thoughts, or paranoia. I think that if we could wish away the psychosis part it would be easier, but so far remission to me feels that I am more myself, more aware and in touch with my emotions.

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This is very good. You are as healthy as you can.

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