Reasonable Expectations

Hello. I’m new here. I have SZA. I been officially diagnosed last year but I had my first case of psychosis 3 years ago. Since then, I been learning all about SZA / Sz, etc etc.

I wanted to make a post about reasonable expectations. I been wanting to go to grad school as of late but I don’t know if I can handle the stress of grad school level classes. Also I been also considering, if grad school doesn’t pan out, to maybe get a full time job, but i’m afraid I won’t be able to handle the stress of working 40 hours a week (I currently work part time for about 20 hours a week).

Where do I draw the line in terms of making reasonable expectations for myself? Do you guys push yourself to the limit when trying to achieve goals? When do you finally say, okay maybe setting such high expectations is unreasonable with SZ / SZA, and just settle for the “now”.

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The only way you’ll know your limit is to get out there and push yourself to do as much as you can, you might surprise yourself.
If you let others limit you, nothing good can come from it.

Ah true.

I don’t want to be put in a situation where I’d be forced to quit though (especially if I have to take out loans to go to grad school) but I guess it might be the way to measure what I’m capable of.

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Hi! Nice to meet you!

I got diagnosed sza back in the early 2000’s. Got my BA in 2011, went straight into grad school, got an MA in either 2014 or 2015 (bad memory at the moment).

Others here are in PhD programs, or have just entered college.

I can tell you that getting support through my state’s department of rehabilitation really helped me. They paid for school books, bus passes, and other school fees not covered by financial aid. They also allowed me to be considered a “disabled student” who should be given accommodations, as per the university’s policies.

The Students with disabilities office printed out letters of accommodation to my professors. They said no to chronic absences, but there were other accommodations they offered, too, like note takers for you, and also a private room for class exams. I know a lot of people can’t handle the stress of the actual exam in a room full of people. I didn’t use this, but that was only because I was paranoid about being outed as a disabled student.

I think a lot of sz can be high-functioning, we’re just conditioned to believing we cannot be by the mh system and by society in general. I think we can achieve a ton of stuff, so long as we have support and maybe some accommodations to help out. I think, with accommodations, we can reach the same goals as normals. As a protected class of the constitution (via the Americans with Disabilities Act), we have a right to reasonable accommodations.

If worse comes to worse, if you apply to be considered permanently disabled, you can get some or all of your loans (I think that federal direct loans are included) voided out due to “inability to pay due to permanent disability.”

Here’s that link:
https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/repay-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/disability-discharge

Best of luck to you and your endeavors!

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I was about to page you on over, but you’re already here!

@houseofstark, other users who can talk to you about this are @flybottle and @mortimermouse. I particularly found this post of @flybottle’s very helpful:

Spoiler alert: his thesis was accepted :smile_cat:

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Thanks for the info and reply.

I would consider myself between mid to high functioning. You might be right, I may need some accommodations especially when it comes to graduate studies.

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I lost a career in architecture when I fell ill to schizophrenia. I wish you the best.

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Hey @houseofstark and welcome :relaxed:

You only know if you try, if you fail it’s no big deal, then you’ll know your limits. Working part-time is already a good achievement with this illness :slight_smile:

I went back to college this past year but it didn’t work out, mostly wrong degree, I’m going back again this time with more time to think about what I really want, there is time, there is no rush and it’s okay to take some time off.

Best of luck on what you decide :slight_smile:

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Ah reasonable expectations… I wish I had thought of those 2 years ago when I started the nursing program. I’ve finished my degree with honors but failed at my 1st attempt at passing the national licensure exam. I can’t find a job. Unsure whether I can do the job and hold the job. Maybe I should have went to school for the practical nurse degree rather than registered nurse. I feel overwhelmed and disappointed that I have not kept up with my classmates who have passed the exam and are already working.

Before today, where I feel like giving up, I would say go for grad school. Never stop trying to achieve what you want. If grad school doesn’t pan out see if you can add more hours or responsibility at your current job before making the switch to 40hours. Or add a 2nd part time job with 8-12 hours.

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Oh, phooey. You’re at the 99% mark – 1% left to go. There are plenty of people with fully functioning brains who don’t even finish high school, so stop beating yourself up. You’ll make it the rest of the way and you’ll do it with style. No one here doubts you. :heart:

Those classmates who zipped ahead of you? Not one of them had to run a marathon dragging a grand piano behind them, so don’t compare yourself to that lot. They’re not in your league as I bet most of them couldn’t do the same.

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Hi @houseofstark, it’s nice to meet you!

I graduated recently from an accelerated bachelor’s program for clinical psychology (I did graduate level research in psychotherapy as an undergraduate), had my thesis accepted and such, graduated with top honors and also top of my department, and will begin a Psy D program well honestly once I finish brushing up on ethics from undergrad, as I already moved down the street from the university and have some of my books for class already. I recently changed meds, and it has been a nightmare, as I had to practically cold-turkey a med, but I go through things like that and still manage to perform as a scholar.

What I would say is that you have to be motivated. I mean for graduate school, or really, any graduate-level work, you must be willing to push yourself, I mean twelve or more hour days, things like that. There must be a reason for the effort you will expend, or else it will not come about.

What you will need to do is become comfortable with studying, that is, reading, writing, generating research, without stopping often. I would sort of know…I am what people call “workaholic” or “over-achiever”, as I often spend excessive amounts of time studying. As one of my friends from back home says, like when I handed him 80 pages of single-spaced typed notes and then had him flip to random pages, ask me a question about what he saw, and then listen to me straight up lecture about it, for one class, “You’ve got problems.”

You must have problems to study like that.

But this is the thesis of my argument; yes, you have problems, but it is how you manage them that matters, not that you have them. We are all ■■■■■■ up here, it’s all about how one deals with it. I make it work for me! Yes, study for 12 hours, too anxious to do anything else! Yes, stay in research lab for 14 hours, too damn curious about what I am researching to stop to eat!

If that sounds insane, you are correct. I fully embrace the craziness and I make that neurological arousal work for me. I take meds, I refuse old meds, I take newer weight-neutral and less sedating meds, and I am also known for being an athlete, in fact I used to be a fighter, now I am retired, but I still condition. There is just a deal I was given; take such strong meds that you will be vegetative and unproductive, or take just enough of the weaker ones to where you can function, and function you will, because your brain will be much more active than the typical (non-schizophrenic) brain.

I chose the high road, I was like okay, I will become an expert on what is wrong with me, let’s go, and well, I am well on my way.

Now what to keep in mind is that I am motivated like hell.

I know plenty of brilliant people who turn their nose up at life in general, in fact, my most intelligent friend is unemployed and reads all day but refuses to go to Uni, like the movie Good Will Hunting or something. I know plenty of motivated people who are just not smart enough to cut it in academia. You need a potent mix of attributes to make it in serious academia, especially clinical fields like medicine, psychology, social work, dentistry, etc., because what is learned in these fields of study is then actually used to save and or improve lives, and it must be done right.

So there is a lot to sift through here- are you motivated? What is your motivation? [someone has to do it, and I can do it] Will it last and endure hardship? Are you intellectually capable?

What do you find makes you feel healthiest?

If the answer is “chilling out with my bag o’ weed and Playstation”, turn around, go back.

If “reading and writing all ■■■■■■ day” is your answer, consider doing it professionally.

There is no shame in doing whatever works for you. It is your life, and your decision as to what you will do with it. What you are willing to do is yours to decide. What you can do is not yours to decide. Know that distinction.

Hey, I used to smoke pot and/or drink and play Xbox all day, and it just wasn’t for me. I would have kept doing it if it was!

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Thanks for the suggestion Skims. I think my best route is probably take an online class or two to help booster my chance of getting into grad school for accounting or business since i’m coming from an unrelated field (Liberal arts, Philosophy major). Also I have to take the GRE and do a pretty good job on it, which is kind of stressing me out.

If I don’t choose this route (probably for financial aid reasons), then i’ll try to see if I can add more hours to my current job though my boss is probably giving me all the hours he can (I’m an accounting clerk, working for a tax accountant). My end goal is getting a full time job / career that I’m happy with without being too stressed. I’m kind of leaning towards accounting since I have experience but i’m pretty much open to whatever.

Welcome to the forum @houseofstark. :slight_smile:

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Thanks for the great post Mortimermouse.

I can definitely say for a fact I have a desire for self progression or self improvement.

My main aspiration is towards financial stability with a career I can say I like. I been working as an accounting clerk for 2 and a half years and I enjoy it.

Now when it comes to my motivation, I used to be highly motivated before the onset of SZA. I used to hit the gym 5 times a week. But since being medicated, my energy levels have dropped and my overall concentration has fallen (probably negative symptoms / cognitive impairment?). I lost motivation to hit the gym (consistently) but it’s okay. My main focus now is to better myself in terms of career.

I don’t do recreational drugs or drink alcohol (though I used to but I left that life behind me), which is probably what I find that makes me healthiest.

I do feel intellectually capable, but you do bring up a good question, can I endure the hardship of grad school, the means for the end (a good paying job / career path). I don’t really see myself studying for 12 hours a day. I would definitely try to take it slower than that.

Maybe the dedication as you described it takes for grad school is something I don’t possess but all I do know unless I further my education, I won’t be qualified for a higher paying role and my degree in Philosophy isn’t cutting it. (Though it’s a great stepping stone to get into Law school)

but thank you very much for your insight.

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That’s a question you are going to have to answer for yourself. Give yourself some margin for error, though. Don’t pile so much on your plate you can deal with it all.

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