Hi @houseofstark, it’s nice to meet you!
I graduated recently from an accelerated bachelor’s program for clinical psychology (I did graduate level research in psychotherapy as an undergraduate), had my thesis accepted and such, graduated with top honors and also top of my department, and will begin a Psy D program well honestly once I finish brushing up on ethics from undergrad, as I already moved down the street from the university and have some of my books for class already. I recently changed meds, and it has been a nightmare, as I had to practically cold-turkey a med, but I go through things like that and still manage to perform as a scholar.
What I would say is that you have to be motivated. I mean for graduate school, or really, any graduate-level work, you must be willing to push yourself, I mean twelve or more hour days, things like that. There must be a reason for the effort you will expend, or else it will not come about.
What you will need to do is become comfortable with studying, that is, reading, writing, generating research, without stopping often. I would sort of know…I am what people call “workaholic” or “over-achiever”, as I often spend excessive amounts of time studying. As one of my friends from back home says, like when I handed him 80 pages of single-spaced typed notes and then had him flip to random pages, ask me a question about what he saw, and then listen to me straight up lecture about it, for one class, “You’ve got problems.”
You must have problems to study like that.
But this is the thesis of my argument; yes, you have problems, but it is how you manage them that matters, not that you have them. We are all ■■■■■■ up here, it’s all about how one deals with it. I make it work for me! Yes, study for 12 hours, too anxious to do anything else! Yes, stay in research lab for 14 hours, too damn curious about what I am researching to stop to eat!
If that sounds insane, you are correct. I fully embrace the craziness and I make that neurological arousal work for me. I take meds, I refuse old meds, I take newer weight-neutral and less sedating meds, and I am also known for being an athlete, in fact I used to be a fighter, now I am retired, but I still condition. There is just a deal I was given; take such strong meds that you will be vegetative and unproductive, or take just enough of the weaker ones to where you can function, and function you will, because your brain will be much more active than the typical (non-schizophrenic) brain.
I chose the high road, I was like okay, I will become an expert on what is wrong with me, let’s go, and well, I am well on my way.
Now what to keep in mind is that I am motivated like hell.
I know plenty of brilliant people who turn their nose up at life in general, in fact, my most intelligent friend is unemployed and reads all day but refuses to go to Uni, like the movie Good Will Hunting or something. I know plenty of motivated people who are just not smart enough to cut it in academia. You need a potent mix of attributes to make it in serious academia, especially clinical fields like medicine, psychology, social work, dentistry, etc., because what is learned in these fields of study is then actually used to save and or improve lives, and it must be done right.
So there is a lot to sift through here- are you motivated? What is your motivation? [someone has to do it, and I can do it] Will it last and endure hardship? Are you intellectually capable?
What do you find makes you feel healthiest?
If the answer is “chilling out with my bag o’ weed and Playstation”, turn around, go back.
If “reading and writing all ■■■■■■ day” is your answer, consider doing it professionally.
There is no shame in doing whatever works for you. It is your life, and your decision as to what you will do with it. What you are willing to do is yours to decide. What you can do is not yours to decide. Know that distinction.
Hey, I used to smoke pot and/or drink and play Xbox all day, and it just wasn’t for me. I would have kept doing it if it was!