Do any of you guys feel like you have real conversations? Conversations that lead to connection. I feel like I don’t have real conversations. I remember having real conversations when I was younger and felt a connection to people. Nowadays I just joke around and don’t get into anything deep. I also feel people don’t talk like they used to. There was a time before social media and screens where all we had was engaging in something with other people or just sitting around talking. I’m not blaming this on social media or screens though. Unless maybe you also feel like people don’t talk like they used to? is it just me?
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People go through that phase where they search for deeper meaning and sort of even trip out in what they say and go to another level. That was in the 17 - 20 age group for me. Maybe a little in the early 20s
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Maybe it’s just having the ability to have an emotional connection. I was schizophrenic during my 17-20’s and talked about weird ass stuff. Before that though I felt I connected with people and the people I was closest to I had an even deeper connection. Maybe my ability to feel deep has to do somewhat with the meds.
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It’s both the illness and reality. Schizophrenia makes it harder to feel connected to others; I don’t th exact name of the symptom but it’s a numbed emotional state.
But in reality it’s hard enough, most people give vague and quick responses which warrant no further conversation so it feels like you’re just talking to yourself - I get that feeling a lot
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Ive said it before too that I can’t find someone to have a conversation with. People are bad at it. They know only what they know, and they have to argue their position. There’s other things too that take away from a good conversation. People lose the ability I think as they get older.
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When I smoke weed I feel kinda as though I am getting somewhere close to a real conversation. Its in and out though and I analyze myself a lot. I can’t smoke weed though. It doesn’t help with schizophrenia for me at all.
It’s likely neurochemistry then and the weed is making you feel more engaged or whatever.
One more thing I want to add is if I miss a dose of meds my brain will go there. Meaning I get to the end of my thought. My meds seem to keep me from getting there. It’s like I’m stuck on the surface or kept from getting that down. It’s cathartic to go there.
I use to be happy and bubbly before meds and had friends before szo hit so hard that I lost them all during psychosis and acted inappropriate this forum is the most. Conversation I have had in 6 months I wish I had found it sooner been a lonely journey this far I miss just hanging out with people I use to work at a busy store in my small town it was my social Life too but that went away too work kept me busy and social but I got fired due to a szo episode now I am battling for disability
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I think I know what you mean the feeling you have is more encouraging of fluid speech, so whatever the outcome is it feels like youre fully expressing yourself.
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That and I have the ability to recognize that what I’m saying is something that means something. Idk I’m not making much sense. Just I am disconnected as hell from how I actually feel about what I’m saying. I just talk about stuff that my brain on meds comes up with. Maybe I should just be more honest about how dumb my brain is. Talk about that stupid crap and see if I get somewhere.
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Yeh its a complex thing the brain does.
I got a sense of the issue youre having though i think.
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Conversation is hard especially if you are flat the 
brain can zone out on meds when I started mine I felt dead inside and out
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ya thats what i do i social situations zone out
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I analyze how my reality changes during interactions.
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oh, is that distracting?
Yeah cause I notice it for a split second or recognize the change. It’s a mess. It’s even worse when someone I feel is attacking me like a guy hauling ass down my street with a loud truck snaps me back to reality and it’s hard to argue with the method even though it pisses me off. Just the fact that there are people that do that to other people. Maybe for a second I get jealous or think what makes him right. But you can’t really argue with the results.
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i know about reality changing a bit from psychosis and smoking weed, it switches over in a way.
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When I was sick my voices would analyze my thoughts and feelings and my reactions to the environment. They’d make me grandiose like I was super intuitive or dealt with things well. But all I can do is observe it all while it’s happening. I went to a Fourth of July party years ago off meds and at the end some people were talking to me and I couldn’t say a word. I was just taking it all in. It’s kinda creepy. Nowadays I just talk about bs it seems unless it has to do with an action like solving a problem or figuring something out.
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Seems like the voices are an extension of you or something because you ultimately are the one being analytical, no?
I get withdrawn in social settings.
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