We’ve talked a lot today about sz/sza and memory. But, have you ever purposely repressed memories?
I had a very traumatic life. About 12 years ago, I decided to be done with hurtful memories. But somehow I’ve darn near locked off access to a lot of my life now.
It is very hard to bring back some memories and impossible in others. It doesn’t help that the sza affects newer memories now.
But, I upset someone badly because I cannot access a very traumatic moment from 23 years ago. They cannot understand how it’s just gone when it was a life changing event…
I told my therapist today tht we have no idea during life changing events that they ARE that important at the time. She agreed.
I don’t know. I read carefully what you wrote.
I keep my memories, day by day I find something new, bad or good, mostly bad, bc I am that kind of person.
I intentionally didn’t go to cbt or sth like that, and it’s sometimes hard to bare with burden.
Sorry if I missed the point.
Any time I had a bad memory pop up,I would just go “nope” and force myself to think of something else. Changing positions physically helps interrupt the thoughts. I did this constantly until they stopped surfacing.
The problem is it worked TOO good. I literally cannot remember huge chunks of my life.
I think you need to learn to handle your thoughts, don’t run from them. Perhaps talk to a therapist?
I had some past traumas. I used to dwell on them, and I became depressed. That’s because I let my past define me.
Things happen in life for some, it wasn’t my fault! Although I felt shame, and do so still to some degree. But I have worked through that shame. I accept them. I accept my fate.
When I got psychotic I lost my memory, that was a new trauma for me. I still don’t remember how to cook good food as I used to. I cook simple foods these days.
I don’t remember anything from when I was prodromal. 5 of my years is lost! This was back from when I was in school. I can’t calculate nor do maths! My dream is to go back to school! But it seems impossible, especially if I can’t recall how to think.
Sometimes we as humans are helpless to circumstances, especially if something was done to us. I know you are a strong person @anon4362788. You will figure things out. Things will get back to you. And you have the right to be angry! We all do around here!