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Zero. No fear at all. Theyāre not real or to be taken seriously.
I was more kind of tinking because of fear I got this conditionā¦
Iām afraid of losing my mind, not of the voices themselves. Unless I get like an evil demon telling me I should die because Iām a piece of ā ā ā ā . Then itās a little scary.
It just that I try to do something new I hear them commenting, first would be fear and slowing anger creeps in but I cannot act as there is no real proofā¦
I have fears. Life sort of feels āWestworld-lyā like the the Truman/Matrix/Sims ādelusionā.
Even I feel like the Truman ā¦ Did you feel anything about the click movie ?
I have a lot of delusions or had them. Like every thought isnāt real or feels like a delusion, but ya, I have especially about āBedazzledā lol which is about sim theory in disguise. I sometimes think people have the āknowā or inside knowledge about reality when making these movies or shows. For āClickā, ya I thought I had the remote from aliens given to me and used it as a teleporter but couldnāt stop time. Maybe slow or speed up time, but I donāt remember, really. It was in another ālifeā so to speak.
Good you have reality in place, I still some time goes unrecognizable in some instances.
I donāt hear voices or hallucinate. My fear comes from paranoia. Itās at like a 3 when it happens now.I sometimes think Iām going to be murdered. Iām used to it. I used to be the highest number.
The truth is Iām a functional schizophrenic that looks and acts normal especially if I keep up my hygiene and smell good, but Iām far from high functioning. Iām probably middle of the road. I feel nuts sometimes like I feel like aliens or the government cloned me many, many times and gave me schizophrenia on purpose. I have about a thousand degrees of insanity or delusions and thatās it really. I experience chronic time travel and reincarnation or soul transfer/consciousness transfer inbetween timelines forward and backwards in time all while being reset to my ātwentiesāā¦
I have paranoia because my current delusion is I invented bitcoin and am a clone and stuff.
But I donāt know. It was like a million degrees of seperation from ācloningā and soul/consciousness transfer that Iām no longer the same person or in the same universe as before. I donāt even really recall any of it.
I sometimes wake up in high school or in another dimension/(outside the matrix) working on bitcoin without knowledge or awareness, and then I got cloned, went to college in another universe, got mk-ultraād or something (feels that way) and then experienced aliens, time travel, and an infinite amount of parallel timelines/earths. I never had a life before 2011/2013 which is when my ālife beganā. I often feel the planet got destroyed in 2011 in my original life from perhaps a war or solar flare and thatās it really. And now we live in a simulation and Iām like the only one who remembers the truth.
3 is a trigger for me to hear voicesā¦ I just heard some one shouting saying what am I doing, useless. The more interesting thing was my docs house number was 3.
Phew what a trip currently
Hearing you I feel The TVA from Loki series stole your ideas.
I do feel people may take away my stories
The aliens played with my āLokiā delusions too and also āNeoā delusions also. It ā ā ā ā ā ā me up for life.
I watch tv shows and movies and trailers and tributes on youtube and then I get dreams where that ā ā ā ā is actually happening and real. Like I didnāt exist before 2011 and was somewhere else in another parallel universe or galaxyā¦
Like I had delusions I was Loki, my brother was Thor, and my step-father was Odin rofl. We ran the simulations and stuff and escaped it. Similar to Westworld movie, I guess. But my life has been marked by tragedy and mental illness.
The Matrix did happen to me actually many times. I lived through many hardships for a long time but I retain some trauma, memories of them.
I used to play MOHAA and they had a āLokiā server so thatās how I got the idea and heard about āLokiā. I was an Anunnaki alien humanoid reptilian God, basically. But the aliens/simualtors keep changing their religion and told me to be Christian now for eternity. It has helped me a lot really. I think Tall Whites played a role in this whole simulation as well as the greys too besides the reptilians or archons.
Its not really fear, I get anxious. I want to affirm that theyāre a hallucination as fast as possible. There are many things that reconfirm reality if you just wait for another moment for information, but sometimes its a one off occurrence and I have to guess if it was a blip of a hallucination or maybe some strange sound with out regard for me.
Much as I want things to fit into their order, some times just they are inexplicable and you have to shrug them offā¦the thing is I need to be aware of my mind to know if Iām having more break through symtpoms.
Its annoying not to just be able to relax about that kind of thing.
Hope you doing fine with all this things saying it out, sounds like its real to you still ? Hopefully not.
I feel the more I recollect my down time, the more down I go.
By the way went out for a long walk for 2 hours covered 8 kms.
I had this feeling few days back, I was hallucinating and did not realize I was actually and there was no cross talk to self, like to check.
I was going with the flow.
Then I felt something strong , I donāt know if it right thing to say.
But I felt my subconscious mind is build to escape issues. So if I have been shouted or made fun off, I am not able to focus at what actually he meant to say. But something else is being related to that particular talk to keep my self cool.
Some times I feel what I have ended up becoming. Was it under my control or I am flowing with brain chemicals with no discipline.
Doing what ever the brain pleases.
SZ has made me pretty fearless
Not that I take unnecessary risks or anything, but I have seen some pretty dark things in my time, and very little can make me feel fear.
About the only thing I fear is losing my parents
Yes me too.
I realized that I am not scared of cockroaches anymore beacuse after working in farming industry. It doesnāt mean there where cockroaches in farm
There I had to get in touch with different pest. Especially caterpillar with out fur. I used to hold it in my hands and yeah some time there where with fur it gave me rash.
I my opinion why do drugs when without it we still go high. I had a drug test done in my pervious company and I called the doc because I had not informed the company I am on meds.
The coincidence was my trainer explained that she had a student in the previous batch who had symptoms of sz and I told her I have read in a book its call sz. After that she left the room