Unsurprisingly, researchers believe that autism and schizophrenia share the same genetics background with antagonist symptomatological expressions : hypo- and hyper- intentionality. Both diseases have probably in common a defective body scheme integration.
Would you say that it is difficult to connect to your body and through it to reality?
Absolutely. It’s very difficult to connect that this thing I’m lugging around is me. Actually, I don’t connect. I feel trapped inside most of the time and believe I’ll be released one day. Death isn’t the end, to me it’s the beginning of freedom…
Anyway, I identify with the disconnect.
Sometimes it’s hard to think that this brain of mine is me and it controls my whole body? What am I? Wtf! Since I don’t have a brain, it’s elsewhere, and it controls my body, then it’s hard to connect brain to body. I think I’m exaggerating but it feels that way sometimes. Looking in the mirror both helps and hurts this thinking.
I do feel a disconnect, but then i get very self conscious which is strange because if i don’t identify with this body why do I care so much with how people think of it and its behaviors?
I am spirit/soul, and will exist long after this body has died. I wish I was more grateful and took better care of this “vessel”. I feel bad about my bad attitude and mistreatment of it.
I look in the mirror and I recognize the face, etc that I’ve been in for over 49 years now, but only in the same way I recognize my cat or my car. I am not this body and this body is not me.