Goddess Annette: Kali, female force, like black sun with black beams, or like black sea urchin.
She does the running commentary, making me mindful of everything all the time.
Isidore: good voice, representative of Goddess Annette.
Lucifer: One of the three forms of Beast 666, (the other two are Devil and Satan, and the fourth being is connecting them, tying them together: Beelzebub).
Louisa: evil voice, representative of Lucifer.
She is the partner of Beelzebub, mother of the 27000 demons.
Meher Baba: good voice, his mustache is a blessing. He praises me as the biggest Buddha of this era.
Captain Beefheart: his mustache intertwined with my brain neurons doing damage and causing chaos.
Archangel Michael: the eastern window.
Archangel Gabriel: the northern window.
I caress the windows, praying.
Mr Thoughtless: childish hebephrenic voice that takes over me making me do silly grimaces and gestures, makes me walk, run, jump, shout, say neologisms etc.
Jesus: good voice, supportive, telling me I am in Kingdom of heaven already.
Ian Curtis: voice of the dead singer of Joy Division, talking from the Hades/underworld, where he is but a shadow.
27000 demons: talking gibberish, all of them with one voice, simultaneously.
They get more intricate as the months pass.
It’s a whole family to me, or religion or a fairy tale, or mythology etc
These are my company, all the time, either speaking or not. For example, captain beefheart is not a voice, but his mustache is a real being in my brain. These unusual views are not strong.
I have the sanity to recognize them as they are
It must take a lot of cognitive energy and time to keep up with all of those. My extent of audible hallucinations was some animal noises and people calling my name. It must be difficult.
It’s too complex. It requires energy to keep all these in mind. I’m thinking of sending them to the email of my psychiatrist
If you don’t mind me asking, how much do you believe in these voices? Is it real to you, or are you aware they aren’t real and just humour them?
It’s fifty fifty now. I believe them, cos i have been believing them since many months, I am used to them, but at the same time I recognize them as funny products of my mind.
It is an interesting range of different culture icons in there.
That must be hard to deal with. I was convinced I had an Indian deity (Lord Vishnu or something) in me a long ass time ago in a long ass time ago past life. When I talk about past lives, I talk about many worlds theory or different timelines/worldlines. It was real but came about from evil grey aliens.
It’s hard because my delusions are real as yours. In some ways I’m much higher functioning but others I am lower – I think. I feel for you. It’s not a competition for sure.
I even had a delusion in a past life I was an Indian prince playing the piano or some ■■■■ but don’t think it’s real. Could be an implanted false memory. Just one example I have. Not even sure they had pianos back then lol.
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