maybe i’m just being over sensitive. my mother in law made my partner cry today and that is not something that a mother does. she was talking to her brother my partner’s uncle and said something like “no she still likes women, its wrong but she’s working on it” how the hell do you work on sexuality? then she upset me more by saying, “kay makes such a good mother, its a shame she will never know how good it feels to be a mother” i can’t help think she says these things to try and break us up. i know another thread about my in laws i’m sorry. am i just being over sensitive?
I wouldn’t say you’re being oversensitive. Maybe you could talk to your partner about tactfully confronting her mother. It would be a big risk to take. If you can’t do that you’ll just have to shut out these snide comments as much as you can. Maybe you could limit the amount of time you have to spend in your mother in law’s presence. Sometimes avoidance isn’t a bad tactic.
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I would try to leave their household as soon as possible. It sounds like a form of indentured servitude with some torture thrown in. Maybe find out what options exist in your community for housing, etc?
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If you’re on SSDI/SSI you can probably get public housing. Quality there can vary though.
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@Brasil we are working on it believe me, kay is learning to drive and has a car lined up from a coworker’s daughter.
@metime there is a wait list around here and the usual housing options are in another city, my therapist wants us to look into that too so i told her i would look into it tomorrow and see what is availablel
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Sounds like she believes the old belief that you can fix the gay if you try or something like that. Maybe talk to her about it and try to make her realize it is something you are born with not something that you can change. Anyway my two cents. Sounds bad nowadays but if you think about it other than hurt feelings mostly harmless just talk to her about it.
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It’s true @ccbrown, some people thrive on being buttheads, especially if they think they can force their beliefs on others, and their own kin seems an easy target. These are not very good people, but,
half the battle is knowing who these people are so you can avoid them and give them no ammo to hurt you.
You are not going to change them any more than they are going to "change"you, but you are the one getting hurt, and the damaging effects will haunt you and your relationship with Kay for too long.
Like anything that hurts, avoid them as much as possible, stand your ground (because evil feeds off the tears of the weak), and get out of that place as fast as you can.
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I have to just echo what everyone else has said: get out as soon as you can. You are NOT being sensitive. She is ignorant, insensitive and judgmental. My son is gay and he couldn’t be more perfect in my eyes so this kind of thing is especially sad for me to hear. A therapist once said to me “there is no law that says you have to love your parents”. That’s how I feel about this lady. You two should stay on your path to get out and then just stay away from that fool. I am sorry you are dealing with this. My heart goes out to you both.
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Well, chalk up all this abuse to being a learning experience and get the hell out of there as fast as you can.
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the car thing had a set back the lady changed her mind about selling the car so kay is looking around for a car but may have to depend on her dad to fix it which sucks!
i asked my dad if he or my mom had a problem with me being gay, they said “no why would we?” then my dad told me they knew i was different since i was little. i played with dolls but if i played with friends i always had to be the ken doll until my brother popped their heads off so i used his action figures instead. after watching sleeping beauty i wanted to be the prince. i wanted to be the hero not the damsel in distress. my parents want me to move back in with them but i think kay is against that since she wants to move out on our own and not depend on others unless we absolutely have to.
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I understand. I hope you are able to move out very soon. My son told me he was gay about 3 years ago (he is 20). He said when he was in middle school he started realizing he didn’t have feelings for girls like he is supposed to. Later, he realized he is actually attracted to men. He is very attractive and has several girlfriends who love him and accept that he is gay. I love him to pieces. My daughter too (who is straight). They are the light of my life.
Edit: I will also add that he is only very slightly diva-ish, lol. He is very fashionable and thin but more on the masculine side than feminine side. He has told me he has no preference for being in the assertive or passive side in a relationship. His first preference is having someone who is equal to him as opposed to having someone who is either very passive or assertive. He is seeing someone right now who is just like him; masculine with a teeny hint of diva.
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