Hello everyone,
I’m a young man who suffer from " Schizophrenia " and to be more precise: “thought broadcasting” or at least that’s my own diagnosis. I think the most important in the story of any bizarre belief is what lead us to believe such bizarre ideas from the beginning? So I share with you my experience hoping it will be helpful for you.
First, my experience seems to be like telepathy : my mind is a “broadcast antenna” and the rest of people are just receiving what I’m thinking. So how I was convinced of such bizarre idea?
In my case, I noticed strange stares from foreign people in the street, some of them were aggressive but the others were kind. At first i thought it was coincidences or they simply noticed something strange on me, but this happened over and over again at the point that it was impossible to neglect it.
So the obvious explanation was that somehow they know me!!! but how this can be possible?! I came up with some weird theories like someone spread rumors about me, I started looking for something about me on the net and the newspapers but I did not find anything.
The situation remains ambiguous until the time I noticed that people that I know have strange behavior in front of me, like looking at me strangely and the most frightening thing was hearing some of them repeating some of my ideas and looking at me with a smile on the face. At that time I knew that those people have access to my thoughts and somehow for the other people they also know my face, because not just people around me who have this strange look on the face but also when I travel or move to a new place I still experience this “Truman show” phenomenon.
So I start looking for it on the net until I found that this experiences are shared by a lot of people around the globe, and it’s a common mental illness called “thought broadcasting”. So many evidences emerge after that for example: I found in the forums many members who reassure others that they don’t receive their thoughts
and those members for sure do not know with whom they speak, so I conclude that there is no thought that spreads in the world unless it is spoken.
Another thing is if I’m really are as I describe myself, then I am a rare case if I’m not the only one who have this gift, so I will be very useful for some people: scientists, magicians, press… Why those people have not contacted me yet? and why other people, especially my family and my friends keep it secret from me?
I did not have any meds and i did not see a doc, somehow i avoided the crisis and managed the situation, I still keep my job but if i’m not in the workplace then i’m at home. This has a huge impact on my social life: I can’t hang out with my friends anymore, also i prefer to avoid people all the time. I only leave my house if it is necessary.
And because I’ve done a lot of research about it, i’m on the way to admit that this is a mental illness and that means literally that I have to unbelieve my senses and my brain, and finding another explanations for every single situation apart, if this is a delusion then i think the mistake made by my brain is generalization and may be some hallucinations.
Until this moment I have not said a word to anyone about what I’m going through. It will be interesting to make a test if someone can read my thoughts, someone who lives near enough so we could try. I can’t do that with the people I know because I’m afraid that this thing is real.
Sorry if I took a lot of your time, I appreciate any possible help, thanks.
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