I used to be a high level manager at a University on a six figure salary. Now I’m being forced to contemplate becoming a cleaner or some other menial work because I don’t have capacity to do anything else.
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To me you are doing better than you think. You can cook those food plates.
You know I used to be Sous chef at Marriott and serving hundreds of guests at banquets coming up with recipes and cooking in style like that isn’t easy.
Now I can’t cook for crap… I’m a bit traumatized by cooking tbh. but yeah your right I did accept it to a some level, but not defeat. Just wasn’t right for me. I guess because it drove me psychotic.
But I don’t want to lose hope. Because that’s all I look to.
I’ll be disappointed my self if I didn’t try atleast… to me really at this point is die giving up or die trying to be happy… no matter what we’re gonna die anyways.
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I definitely don’t think you should lose hope. You seem to be a lot more functional than me- you have a job and you are contemplating a big international move. That’s huge progress and you should be so proud of yourself.
I think I’m in a different category. I used to be a much better cook than I am now cooking for a huge number of guests and even cooking a whole Christmas lunch at age 11. Now I can do it, but it’s an effort. And yeah, I don’t think I’ll be able to work. I do odd jobs for my mum in the garden but that’s about the extent of my capacities. I hope to accept it and be happier with myself one day.
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But life is not all about work. It’s just about what ever that makes you happy…
Perhaps we just moved on. Not lost.
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Yeah thanks… but really I do menial jobs.
I’m going back to the US because I consider it home country… go back to school and such.
Tbh I just might die.
But I rather die trying to see if I can be happy again, than die in Japan like a zombie lunatic in japan who lives with his parents who works for 9$/hr 
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That’s fair enough- it’s a big move and you should be proud of yourself in any case. A menial job is better than no job like me. It’s scarier for me because I have a partner and I don’t want to become some dependant waste of space while he does all the work. It makes me feel ashamed.
Perhaps if feel like your a burden to your partner, have a discussion and brainstorm on what are the long term goals for you guys as a couple, and stratify what you can do to work towards it.
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But any way people who had experiences with psychosis and sz do recover. Some people become doctors and graduate masters degree. I believe we can be happy too.
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