I’m a bit freaked out, in bed, in the dark, other than the light from my phone.
I keep thinking there are people outside my windows, people who could easily kick the window in to get in here. Or maybe someone could bust the door in again.
Every noise, every car headlight has me on high alert. I’m trying to ignore it, but it’s not going well.
I think of a time last year when I considered buying a shotgun. Someone comes in, blow the cocksucker away. Give me an excuse, ■■■■■■■■■■■■. Rid the ghetto of one piece of trash, self defense, and gain a reputation around the neighborhood as a killer, someone to be feared, not ■■■■■■ with.
The circuit box for my apartment is in the hallway, anyone who wants can shut off the power in here.
I just took a Haldol, the first time I’ve taken that since it was changed from scheduled to PRN.
You sound like things have taken a turn for the worse. I seriously hope the haldol works. If not, you should consider going to the ER. I know you live in a bad neighborhood but it’s entirely possible that no one’s gonna harm you. Try and stay calm and relax if you can.
Try to focus on something,
Put a movie on or text someone
Get comfy, deep breaths.
You’re safe,
It will pass .
It’s likely just paranoia.
I’ve been like that alot, convinced people are breaking in. It is scary. But it’s likely not real
I’m not going to an ER. I can’t turn lights on, or they’ll know I’m in here. I shut off my phone screen when I heard someone pounding on the front door to the building. I had music playing, but I had to pause it, can’t have them hearing it. Then I heard something small hit the front bedroom window. To make things worse one of the street lights out front goes through on/off cycles. Right now it’s off, so it’s a little darker than usual out front.
Just try to stay inside your apartment and try to stay calm.
Unfortunately, there will be celebratory noise and fireworks tonight and possibly also the occasional dumbass shooting a gun off to ring in the New Year. So just kinda brace yourself for that.
Maybe the Haldol is helping, because I’m not quite as freaked out as I was. I still have all the lights and the stereo off, but I feel a little better.
I’m feeling a bit better now, just had a bit of a freakout last night.
I don’t have money to move; I feel trapped here.
After last year’s break-ins/burglaries my friend offered to take me in until I could save up money for a new place. I should’ve taken him up on it, though I was a bit concerned about having my dog and cat with me there.
I don’t have either anymore, though; I gave my dog to my ex, and my cat passed away. I don’t know, hopefully I’ll be able to move at some point; this is getting ridiculous.