Does this ever happen to you as a part of negative symptoms?
It is something that I have experienced on/off throughout my life. I just completely lose my ability to care.
In researching various things, I’ve considered it as a possible PD trait, but I don’t fit with the rest of AsPD, I’m almost opposite emotionally half the time and it would be hella nice to have less emotions, especially anxiety and worrying about bad things happening to people or my pets.
I’ve considered depression as a suspect, but often it happens without feeling suicidal or hopeless.
It’s more like I just don’t inherently care about what happens to me or my life, or my quality of life, or the consequences of things like if didn’t show up to work or for a doctor’s appointment, or pay a bill, or whatever. I could just sit or pace in the same spot all day and do absolutely nothing, and not care. Not shower for two weeks and not care. I’ll know I probably have a cavity and that it will get much worse if I don’t go to the dentist, but I won’t go, because I don’t care.
It feels sometimes like I am missing some sort of instinct that most people have, like to survive and thrive in general. Looking back I can see many times when it has bit me in the butt with the consequences, but even then it was like I still didn’t care.
At a job I had years ago, sometimes I would wake up, and I had no reason to move. I knew that not showing up to work might cost me my job, which might mean I’d lose my apartment, and die on the streets, but it didn’t matter. I would go back to sleep. And going into work the next day, people would be passive-aggressively upset with me, but I didn’t care. And I wasn’t showered or dressed right, I think most people would be embarrassed, but I didn’t care.