I just recorded this rap
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Thatās really good. Youāve got a very confident voice. Thereās so much talent out there but so few get picked and even fewer make it - and the ones who do make it aint necessarily the oneās with the most talent.
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Very true. I wrote a book in May. Music is my ideal profession but writing books is my back-up plan. My back-up plan after that is working some dead end minimum wage job and living off SSD the rest of my life. I appreciate your kind words and advice.
I also like nature and animals so maybe I can do something in that idk.
There are options.
But either way I donāt see the constant need to strive past a certain level of success. I donāt desire a mercedes benz and a big house.
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@sarad this is what I mean 
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Lol. slumdog millionaire. A person who drives Jaguarā¦and sleeps in it.
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Iāve always been ambitious. I like to afford luxury things and enjoy my life. I love to travel and I need a lot of money to do that. I like to make enough money to afford my favourite clothing, drive a nice car, afford fancy restaurants and socialize with my friends. Sometimes my greediness leads me to failures but I always learn. If I can get my drive back soon, I would like to find a nice job. This illness ruined my life and Iām still pondering about the path I should take in my life. If I can maybe get on disability, if thatās possible and dedicate my life to studying, exercise and other hobbies. I donāt know.
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Then youāll like Great Gatsby. Its about the good life 
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Orā¦ A Wolf from the Wall Street. 
I hate these ā ā ā ā ā ā ā articles 
It is " The Wolf of Wall Street"
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I guess I have to say that some people want out of where they are, and they see careers as their only way out. I am included in that. Take away my strengths then you would see how shitty it actually is. School is an escape for me. I hate my life by most means, and I want a different one. I see tons of education as the only means to a different life.
I come from a lower middle class immediate family and the rest of my family is lol quite upper class. I want to disown my immediate family, I have lied and said they are understanding and supportive for publications, yeah, I have been in a couple of things because I have scz and function highly. My maternal family- I identify with them, even though I am not exactly a devout Catholic. My paternal family disowned me. My maternal family sees that I may dress like a punk but they also see the good things that go on in my head, mostly performance in school. One of my maternal relatives and I get along really well- he and I identify with one another.
My sister is bipolar and borderline, only takes antidepressants to stay hypo and refuses to work. I am here doing all I can, even exercising like a nut to make a life for myself.
The normies in my family are mostly hard-working and also quite wealthy, and it goes without saying that they are intelligent, very intelligent, and driven. Very driven.
I dont blame people who work for profit- I could use my own place and a little gym in my garage, but that would cost 1000$ for the exercise equipment and like 400k for a house.
I often describe people like that āwork hard, play hardā. I respect them for their cunning at the least, thatās if I dont even know them.
Itās really just about doing what you are passionate about. Itās not even work if you love doing it- no, instead of work, it is an opportunity.
Lately my parents have been giving me ā ā ā ā for not cooking my own dinner. I go to school for free, they can at least cook ā ā ā ā ā ā ā dinner. It is encouraging further dysfunction when everyone has their own shelf in the fridge and we dont eat together.
Be careful about functioning highly- people will think there is nothing wrong with you unless you purposefully unleash a little bit of crazy.
Unfortunately they wont take me seriously- I have to be losing it for HOURS ON END and VOMIT for them to think I am oh I dunno a chronic paranoid schizophrenic with a whole slew of comorbid disorders, comorbid disorders which make me resilient to the psychosis and then actually go engage in intropunitive crap on top of it.
I dont blame myself for being crazy, I dont blame normal people for being normal.
I blame both sides for not recognizing what the nature and perspective of the other side is.
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Iām obsessed with developing myself as a person. This week Iāve been working on the financial aspect. Iāve also been putting a muthaload of time into a community volunteer project that my wife and I are spearheading (Iām in this weekās paper in town). I am sure there are some people who look at my volunteer workload and go, āwow, look at him!ā If only they knew! Mwaaaahaahaa.
I donāt know if what I do is normal, but this is me being me. I literally lose my ā ā ā ā if Iām not busy with something. And, frankly, Iām too busy having fun to give a crap what other people think.
Pixel.
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Thatās where I want to be. The only thing I really feel like wanting to actually achieve something in is academia. My second option, possibly for after a phd, would be to work in something like an excellent deli shop kind of place. Not a full fledged restaurant. Someplace that is known for its simple yet good products where people go to give themselves a treat. It should have seats, not a takeaway place. That would not be making use of my degrees, but these I have pursued for intellectual satisfaction in the first place, not so much for a career. I think of such a place as a place with a nice atmosphere where I could happily spend my days. Which I think is also important: if youāre going to be somewhere nine or more hours a day it better should be a place with a nice atmosphere and cheerful people around you.
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I think about this almost every day.
That sounds great, your own little cafƩ or such.
You could consider decorating it with junk art, and me and many other artists can be your supplier 