Some days are better I wonder why. The last few days I walked 15k steps each day, hanged out with friends and played video games all day. Today I don’t feel like doing anything, just being in bed. Why do they fluctuate?
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My energy levels also fluctuate.
It’s on a spectrum.
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I have better days abmnd worse days.
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It’s the same for me. Some days i study like I’m normal again. And other days im completely zonked
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I got a lot done yesterday and the depression wasn’t so prominent. This morning, I can’t seem to get started on anything. Maybe I’ll force myself to work on my winter scarf.
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You are so brave swan👍
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I don’t think my negative symptoms fluctuate much. I also don’t feel like they ever hindered walking, sure enough it may take a bit of effort getting out of bed and putting my shoes on but honestly speaking while I’m walking inertia just takes over. Lately I haven’t been walking but that’s more to do with the fact that I have broken my headphones and it’s cold outside than my negative symptoms. I’m pretty sure everyone has a harder time getting their daily steps in during winter. As far as playing videogames and seeing friends goes though, I can see where you are coming from. I have a bloody tough time getting myself to play and an even harder time enjoying it to the point that I’ve mostly given up the hobby. I just have a couple friends and they are often busy but when they are around more often I have a tendency to want to decompress after seeing them. Part of it might be the fear that I may appear needy otherwise but the rest is harder to pinpoint and much more complex and irrational. The prospect of going out while not convinced becomes scary to an extent, because I don’t want to lose my sporadic outings and going out while bored runs the risk of permanently draining my ability to enjoy and initiate those interactions in the future.
I feel like the negative symptoms are the result of a lessered effectiveness of positive reinforcement and an enhanced effectiveness of negative reinforcement and the fluctuations are simply my attempts to keep negative reinforcement away from what I still consider a positive influence in my life. I don’t play games in order to protect my desire to play them, same as I don’t see my friends in order to protect my desire to see them. It’s all very backwards but that’s how it feels to me, it’s not like one day I have more of a will to act than on another day but rather my perceived ability to enjoy something changes and I really, really don’t want to find myself not enjoying something I want to enjoy, and so I avoid it altogether.
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For me its the Same every day i have Not Energy neather apetite to do things
I find that lots of elements make up my bad and good days. Sometimes my memory and attention are better, but I’m feeling tired. Sometimes I can enjoy things pretty well but can’t concentrate, and so on. But it feels like an eternal irregular cycle.
If I ever find out things are this way, I’ll be sure to write it down and let everyone know the reason.
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