When I was 5 I had a severe asthma attack that had me hospitalized for a month. My o2 levels in my blood were basically low enough to pronounce me dead. When I sit back and reflect on all the horrible things that’s happened and how I just seem to always have that feeling that nothing can satisfy cause nothing matters one of my common voices tells me that maybe it’s because i was never meant to survive and that me being alive now as I am is some sort of mistake. They also bring up when I was going to slit my throat but my voices convinced me not to. Just kinda tough when I get all these sorta mixed messages from them. Anyone else have times were they feel like somehow somewhere something that was supposed to kill you didn’t?
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I started out hearing a lot of command voices telling me to kill myself. I resisted for what seemed like years, but at one point I couldn’t take it anymore and made an attempt. Sounds like you need a med adjustment. Don’t wait until you need to go to the hospital. Get help ASAP.
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I actually am not on any sort of medication and I refuse to until it gets unbearable. I just try to keep the voices in perspective as a form of self reflection and I communicate with them enough to have a healthy coexistence. They’re just… odd sometimes with their claims. It becomes hard to sift through their delusions at times.
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Fight the voices AS HARD AS YOU CAN!!!
Good luck.
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