I haven’t spoken with my sister in over a year. Mostly I don’t miss her because she won’t do anything about her codependency problem.
Rather than accept people as they are, she feels the need to control them and change them to suit herself. It is the direct effect of having lived with an alcoholic husband for most of her life. He died of cirrhosis years ago, but she still goes on trying to control everybody to the point where she drives them away. She is aware that she is “opinionated,” but that’s merely one aspect of her codependency. When I still drank, it was so bad with her that she projected her husband onto me. My sis didn’t see me for the person I was at all; she only perceived my drinking behavior, hence lumped me in a category with her husband.
Oh, well. She needs Al-anon or, better yet, individual counseling. First, she has to want to help herself.
Sorry to bend your ears. I do care about my sister, or I wouldn’t be thinking about her.
Anyone else know a codependent?