Schizophrenia.com

My mum and dad think i'm lazy


#1

they r happy for me to have a mental illness but not happy to believe in negative symptoms. :frowning: this makes me feel like a constant failure if my house isn’t spotless. my mum comes over twice a week to help me with the house and that’s great. she sort of understands that it’s because i’m ill but not really as i always get admonished if it’s not up to scratch. she’s a real get up and go person, as is my dad. now i don’t want to live in a show home but i wish i could be a better daughter where the house and garden are concerned. :frowning:


#2

@jaynebeal,

I’m sorry this is getting you down. Negative symptoms were also the hardest for my family to understand. Probably because I’m not in psychosis when I’m flattened… I’m just flattened.

I think you are quite a get up and go getter. You do so much for your kids and you’ve just been coming off a med glitch.

It’s going to take a little time to get your feet back on the ground after that. It makes my head swim when you mention all you do in a day… AND keep two growing kids happy, safe and provided for… all by yourself, all day every day.

I’d say, get some help with the garden and let your family know… the house might not be spotless, but the grandkids are perfectly safe and in good health.


#3

I’m sorry you are going through this. Like J said it makes my head swim when you mention everything you do in a day. You are far from lazy. I struggle with my motivation and getting chores done. My mom is very patient with me but still gets frustrated when I put off doing things. It’s hard. I wish I had an answer for you, but I don’t. I just wanted to tell you I understand what you’re going through. Hang in there! :sunny:


#4

I am stuck in the middle of not being able to do much/doing things. I am proud of myself for pushing myself to be able to do some food shopping on my own today. With me some days are better than others, I am noticing that if I get at least 8 hour sleep, I feel more motivated the next day - anyone else like this? I dont get 8 hours sleep every night.
My dad and brother kind of understand my lack of motivation as being part of my meds - depression - negative symptoms of SZ - I have a difficult time pin pointing the source - could be all three as the culprit.
But I have been called lazy by many different people in my family - sometimes I wonder if they truly understand - makes me wonder


#5

I’m lazy with cleaning the house and so on, but I think its also part of the illness, because I have a chronic low-grade depression hanging over me.


#6

Don’t let your parents’ comment get you down, Jayne. You have already been diligent in doing housework. Your brain can not sustain so much pressure from your parents’ expectation. Just ignore their comments and expectation and be yourself !


#7

The family that call me lazy really don’t understand. That used to really upset me. But the family that doesn’t understand is also the same family that has NEVER seen me at my worst… never visited me in hospital… never lived with me during my real negative wax covered shut down.

The family/ friends who actually KNOWS me… has never called me lazy.


#8

I have a lot of negative symptoms and I find it hard to talk to my husband about avolition because he gets angry at me, he thinks I’m giving up. However, he doesn’t really mind the mess we’re living in, he just gets happy as a kid when he sees I tidied up the house a bit.

I don’t really care what his relatives think, none of them is close to us in either way. My family does not live in the same town, so they have nothing to say about it. Also, my mom knows about the negative symptoms and has had them herself, as she was diagnosed with schizotipal personality at around my age.

I’d rather learn and do productive stuff than scrub off the dirt from the house. I’ll do that when needed, or when I get some help to do it. I don’t feel like my state of urgence is alleviated by doing chores and if I do them, I lose myself in the process, get weary and depressed, I never finish what I started and end up exhausted after having done next to nothing. I should ask for help but my family is far away and my in-laws are…a bit rudimentary, they would not understand what they didn’t experience themselves and if I tried to explain they woud tell my husband that I’m saying weird things, and he gets worried when they say that, and a bit aggresive towards me.

So I just resign myself to doing what I can in my life and wait for a solution to my home-cleaning to simply present itself. It’s not like I have a choice, even if I try, and I found out it’s useless to get depressed over it.